Truth and myths about age difference while dating a Ukrainian lady

One evening I was spending time with my friends at the newly opened fancy bar at the 5 star hotel in Kharkov, Ukraine. The group of people has caught my attention. There was a gentleman in his late 60 there. His clothes and looks showed at once he was American. A new girlfriend of my friend who has just learnt that I am a matchmaker and work with foreign gentlemen had asked if all my clients were “like that”. Instead of rolling my eyes I have looked at that American gentleman again. He was wearing a bright red shirt with palms prints. The shirt has barely covered his prominent belly and when he was moving his hands everyone could see his belly button. His thin hair was neatly brushed to the side. He was wearing old-fashioned glasses and a thick golden bracelet.  His bright blue Nike sneakers have finished “the look”.  Then I have paid attention at the ladies at his table. Tall brunette was wearing a tight black dress. She had full lips, long healthy hair and fresh manicure. She was playing with her Iphone of the latest model. Another lady was sitting with her back to me. She had platinum blond hair that reached her shoulders, long thin fingers with red nails and fancy designer handbag that hang on her chair. She was holding a cocktail and talking to another blond girl sitting next to her. The third girl took of her designers’ shoes and was massaging her feet. Her Prada bag was standing on the floor next to her. It was obvious the American didn’t understand any Russian and the girls were speaking Russian to each other. They paid very little attention to him.

My first 15 minutes of observation showed that at the beginning he was very proud of the company he was with. He even tried to talk to the girls but they were ignoring him. Some time later he gave up and took old Nokia out of his pocket and brought it really close to his face to read something there.  The waiter came with our drinks and caught the direction of my observation. “He stays in the hotel” – said the smiling waiter to me. “He comes here every night and always leaves tips”. “He is searching for a wife in the Internet” – continued the waiter and smiled even brighter. One cocktail later the American stood up and scratched his naked belly. Heavily he moved in the direction of the Restroom. One of the ladies raised her eyes at him and returned back to her Iphone. In several minutes a couple has joined their table. Slim brunette with prominent lips and really short dress in her early twenties accompanied by a tall young boy wearing a tight T-shirt that outlined his muscles. The American has returned from the restroom. He didn’t spot the newcomers at once but after he saw the boy he didn’t look pleased. The platinum blond has started explaining really loud in a bad English that “Ighor is a brother of Tanya and he will join them”.  For about 5 minutes I felt really sorry for the American but then my friend has returned from the men’s restroom. “You won’t believe it” – he started. “That American was setting new “dates” with new girls on phone in the restroom. He has argued with someone saying he needs a wife not older than 28 and he would not consider someone older. And, please, no children. And she must have big breasts and full lips. He preferred blondes”.  Thirty minutes after newcomers Ighor and Tanya have finished their meals and drinks the platinum blond has loudly demanded money for the taxi and the American was left alone with the bill. My friend’s girlfriend enthusiastically tried to persuade me to give The American my business card.  “For sure you can work with him and help him” – she said. I have answered her that he doesn’t want to be helped and for sure he wouldn’t like what I could offer him – severe truth and reality, common sense, brutal honesty and no games.

Being a professional matchmaker for 10 years almost and working with Ukrainian ladies in Ukraine I can assure you that it is a total cliché that 18 years old Ukrainian ladies dream to marry a 45 years old foreigner. I know that there is always an exception to almost every rule but usually such exceptions only prove the rule. So is it a total myth that it is possible to find a girlfriend in Ukraine who will be 10 or 15 years younger? I will share another story with you. Not so long ago one of my favorite ex-clients came to Ukraine to visit her family. She was 29 years old and her husband 48 years old when they have first met. When she was 30 years old she said “yes” and he put a ring on her finger and a year later just after her husband has turned 50 years old their first daughter was born. They are a truly beautiful family and when you see this girl with her husband for sure you will say “they truly match”. This lady, let’s call her Anna used to work for a big trade company in Ukraine, she has two university degrees – one in law and other in linguistics. She speaks fluent English and German and adores traveling. Her husband whom we will call Thomas is a successful lawyer, who just like Anna was not married before, has a great education and can’t imagine his life without traveling several times per year. After having several fantastic dates in Ukraine Thomas took Anna to Paris and two month after they were planning a car trip around USA and after that he has invited her to Venice where he actually proposed to her. Was beautiful, young, smart, never married, well educated and establish Anna dating “out of her league”? Well, for sure she would be popular at any dating site and men were approaching her at the streets. Was successful, smart, tall, never married Thomas dating out of his league? He was attracted to a younger lady and he did his best to win her heart, which has happened. This is one of my favorite scenarios when pure chemistry push great people together.

One of my new clients at our first interview has told me that he wants to meet a lady in her 30th because he wants to have kids. The gentleman is in his early fiftieth. I have asked him what can he give the younger lady except of his desire to date a younger girl. He has answered without hesitation that he was not super rich but rather well-off. He recently bought a big house and is looking for a lady who can turn it into home, he is well educated, well-travelled, established, ready to commit and spoil his best-half once he finds her. He had the personality, no past (ex-wives or kids), established career, good taste in wine and art, big collection of jazz music and strong desire to settle down, he had the banking account and a wish to distance from his active business to finally create a family.  “I know it will be not easy” – he said – “but you did it for Henry (my ex-client, happily married, 2 kids, one dog and a parrot), so just tell me what I have to do”. “Are you ready to lose at least 10 kilos, sign to gym and quit smoking” – was my question. He has agreed to try. He has kept his word and lost 15 kilos, started eating healthy and quit smoking. His Ukrainian girlfriend is a 32 years old dentist who shares his passion to jazz and modern art.

Conclusions: It is not a crime to be attracted to younger ladies. In Ukraine it is really easier to find a younger girlfriend than in Western Europe or USA. It is important to be realistic about who you are and what you can offer to your younger girlfriend.  Love truly knows no borders and ages but don’t forget to think with your head when you search for your best half.

Author: Svetlana Mukha-leading matchmaker and CEO of Diolli.com.

From Svetlana with love