There are so many videos and dating tips about choosing a sexy young Ukrainian lady as a potential bride or wife. Numerous dating sites offer you pages of options. You can filter the profiles by age, hair color and even bra size.
I have googled several “male order bride” web-sites. I was surprised with the quality of photos. Each of these ladies could be easily featured at Playboy magazine. The poses, the lingerie and the atmosphere at the photos reminded of Playboy or Maxim magazine. It was hard to believe all these ladies were single.
I have opened several profiles. The first lady in pink lingerie was smiling at me approvingly. It was mentioned that she was a nurse and loved dancing and listening to the music. I couldn’t tell her age from the picture, but it was written she was 22 years old. She has mentioned that she was looking for a soul-mate that could be up to 65 years old! Really? 65 years old?
I have tried to imagine myself when I was 22 years old and all the girls that I know at the moment at the age of 22 and none of them was open to date a gentleman older than 35. Most of my clients under 25 years old are open and willing to date a gentleman who is 5-7 years older. Some of them are open to date a gentleman who is 7-10 years older and few ladies are open and willing to date a gentleman up to 45 years old, which makes 15-20 years age difference.
With the ladies in the age group 35-40 the situation is slightly different. Most of them consider dating a gentleman, who is 10-15 years older (again not 25-30 years older), especially the ladies who already have been married and have experienced the divorce.
Every day at Diolli.com my team and myself interview from 5 and up to 15 new ladies.
Of course we tell the ladies that most of our male clients prefer younger ladies and feminine looks.
So why is the offline and online statistic so different? Perhaps online dating sites and offline traditional matchmaking services attract different types of clients?
Several years ago I had a gentleman in my office. He was an American, in his late 40th and never married. He told me he came to Ukraine to meet the ladies he found online. These were not my clients. He showed me the photos. Two beautiful brunettes in their 20th dressed in fancy provocative dresses. The photos were professional and looked like they could easily be featured in the magazine advertising tights or lipsticks. He told me that one of the girls was on her last year at the Law school and she was 21 years old. The other girl was 23 and she had her own business. What kind of business he didn’t know. The gentleman was seriously out of shape. He had a pleasant smile, thick grey hair and a round belly. I have asked him what did he want at the matchmaking agency, if he has already “found the perfection online”. He said he wanted to find out what “options” I could provide him with if he signs up as a client. We have talked for about 40 minutes and he told me about his time at college and university. He did MBA program not so long ago. He didn’t date much in the USA and the last lady he went out back home was the cousin of his friend from work. She was in her late 40th. He thought she was too old for him and regretted taking her out for dinner. I have asked which age groups of the ladies he considered. He told me – 20-24 years old. I have asked why? His answer was “they are beautiful and not spoiled”.
I have honestly told him that it would be really difficult to introduce him to a mature 20-24 years old girl, who will be sincerely interested in him and have recommended paying attention at the age group 28-38. He was furious and left my office, but he has kept my business card.
Two days after he sent me a picture of himself and the 21 years old student. She was wearing a tight black dress and shoes with high heels. Her make-up was bright and catching. She was holding two plastic bags with the name of the expensive fancy boutique.
I didn’t write him back. To be honest I was busy with my client and after that have simply forgotten to write back.
The next day he sent me another photo taken next to the same shopping center. This time he was pictured with the 23 years old businesswoman. She was wearing a red miniskirt and a white top. She looked like one of the dancers from the Pitbull videos – hot, sexy and promising. She was holding several paper bags with the name of the shopping center. The gentleman was holding flowers and smiling like a winner of a huge prize.
5 days later he ran into my office. He was heavily breathing and his shirt was wet through. I guess he ran from the parking lot straight to my office. I have suggested him a glass of water. After catching his breath he told me that he “lost both of them”. I have asked him what has happened. He started telling me, how wonderful it was to go out with two sexy Ukrainian girls. According to him both of them “wanted him so much”. He felt that in the next several days they would have sex with him, because both of them “looked at him with hungry eyes”. To make the story short the night before he had a dinner at the fancy restaurant with his businesswoman and right after they have finished main courses his other crush – the student has entered the restaurant. He thought they would start fighting for him, but instead both of them told him “he was not faithful” and left. His businesswoman has taken the paper bags with the new clothes he bought her that day, but has forgotten to take flowers. They have left and he was there alone and it was all his fault.
The gentleman had tea and biscuits in our office. He told me that he probably broke the hearts of those poor ladies. Perhaps right at that moment they were crying and thinking what an unfaithful creature he was.
I didn’t sign him up as a client, because I have honestly told him that his demands are not reasonable and as a professional matchmaker I would strongly recommend him not to consider dating students and ladies in their early 20th. I have told him that if he wants to date a younger lady he should seriously think about losing weight. If a lady in her 30th considers dating him (late 40th) of course she will think is he healthy enough to have children with and will he be healthy enough to live happily after with me in 10 or 20 years?
Dear gentlemen, ladies always think about their future and future of the potential family that she might have with you. Sometimes it gets a ridiculous turn, like with on of the ladies I know for years. When she goes out on a date with a gentleman she starts thinking whether their child will have blues eyes, his or her height and so on. She doesn’t often get the second date of course, because on the first date instead of concentrating on her date, she dreams about the future that can actually never happen. And even when the brave gentleman invites her out on a second date, she can decline him just because he has brown eyes and this puts at risk blue eyes of their future baby. I know this lady for years and sometimes I want to shake her and honestly tell her that if she doesn’t change her attitude she will end up choosing a cat with perfect or not so perfect blue eyes.
Anyway, let’s return to our story. That gentleman didn’t become my client mostly because I was honest with him and didn’t tell him what he wanted to hear. The second reason was the fact – he loved dating sites and the possibility of endless choices and the illusion of “being in control” and “choosing” whom he found attractive enough and who didn’t reach his standards. He liked the meat market – 19 years old girls in bikini and he was a judge who is empowered to say “boobs are big enough” or “teeth are white enough”.
Why did that gentleman and this whole story came up into my mind? Two weeks ago my psychologist was interviewing the ladies for our base. She sent me a message in skype, that she wanted my opinion. I went to her cabinet and saw two girls in their 20th. Both of them had beautiful long dark hair. They were nicely dressed. Both were wearing expensive designers shoes. One of them had a very expensive handbag, another – several big diamonds in her ears. My first thought was they were daughters of someone rich and their rich parents wanted to pay the matchmaker to find them decent well-educated and established young gentlemen. I was surprised that our psychologist has two of them at the same time in her office. Usually it is a one on one interview.
When I came in one of the girls was telling that she and her cousin (the second girl) did everything together. They have moved from the small town to Kharkov to study in the university. Now they rent a small apartment together. I have asked what do they do for a living. One of them was on her last year at the local community college and she worked as a secretary at the same college. Rich daughters usually don’t do community colleges. The other lady said she worked as a shop assistant at the clothes boutique. I have asked about their parents. The parents of the secretary were divorced. Her mother was a nurse at the local hospital in her hometown, her father with whom she said she was not very close used to be the driver at the same hospital and now he worked as the taxi driver. Parents of the second girl were still married and they had a little business – they sold fruits and vegetables that they grew in their garden. The psychologist has asked about the dating experience of both ladies. One of the girls said that she dated a boy who studied in the same college, but since graduation he couldn’t find a “proper job” and became an ordinary office clerk, so those relationship had no future. The second girl has started telling about the boy she dated and it hit me where I have seen them. I took my phone and searched for the old messages. Now the picture was clear and I have understood why these girls looked so familiar. These were the “businesswoman” and the “law student” that several years ago have “dated” the gentleman who has tried to prove me wrong. It was funny that in the city with 2 millions citizens we ran into each other.
Of course these girls didn’t make it into our base. Even if I was not in the office on that day or didn’t find those photos in my phone they wouldn’t make it. Their stories, their intentions and their looks were too controversial.
After these girls left our office I kept thinking about that gentleman several years ago. Two young cousins have tricked him so easily and according to the clothes they were wearing men were standing in line to be tricked.
Dear gentlemen, when you are looking for a young sexy Ukrainian lady online always think what made her write you back. Maybe this was your photo or description, or was it “pure chemistry”? If the girl who is 25 years younger texts you how sexy you are, think if women often tell you this off-line. If she agrees with everything you say and compliments your photo which to be honest is not very good, then perhaps it is too good to be true.
I will give one more example and let you all go because this article is already running long. Not so long ago I was conducting a skype interview with the gentleman who was in his late 30th, divorced father of 3 children. His youngest kid was only 3 years old. All the kids lived with him. I have showed him several potential matches, which were 5-7 years younger than he was and also were divorced parents. To my huge surprise he told me that this was not what he was looking for, because they were “too old” and they had kids. He told me he wanted to date someone who is in her late 20th, fitness model with no kids. “She should agree to be a stay at home mom to be with the kids” – he has added. Can you imagine a beautiful girl in her 20th, who is never married and has no kids of her own and who dreams to marry a man with 3 children to take care of them? To be honest in 10 years I have never met a girl like that, have you? If she exists she must be really brave and seriously desperate.
Dear gentlemen, when you are “choosing” a sexy girl at the dating site, don’t forget that this is a two way street. Not only you choose, but she also has to choose you back. Usually if you get something too easily sooner or later life will bring you the bill and ask to pay extra. I wish you to make only safe and successful “choices” and if you need some help or a good advice you are welcomed to use our professional matchmaking services or attend one of our coaching webinars.
From Svetlana Mukha, with love)