10 facts about long-distance relationships
There is a cliché that long-distance relationships or LDR as we will call them later in the text have to be complicated and not as fulfilling as dating someone locally. In this article, we will answer a very important question: is so-called “love in the distance” possible?
Let’s point out a few psychological facts about long-distance relationships.
1. People tend to idealize and romanticize their partner in LDR. Why? Because they don’t have to watch every day how they leave dirty dishes in the sink for the night or throw dirty laundry on the floor. No, it is definitely not about your boyfriend or girlfriend. He or she is a unique human being who is never tired, late, frustrated, or in a bad mood. He is always thinking of you and counting days till you can reunite. Of course, partly this is true.
2. Most of our couples whom we have introduced over the years count the days till they reunite with their partners which doesn’t mean though their lives stop. They still have duties, interests, and dreams. They still go around their everyday routine looking forward to those special romantic days where they will reunite with their object of affection. So, when you are in LDR the early stage which in Ukraine is called the stage of candies and flowers is significantly prolonged.
3. When you are in LDR you miss your beloved person more. You get a chance not only to romanticize and idealize your beloved because you are often thinking about him or her but also to miss spending time with him or her. We have noticed that couples who were separated for several months tend to appreciate each other more once they finally reunite. However, even in LDR, some people manage to occupy too much space in the life of their girlfriend or boyfriend by calling and texting 24/7. They don’t give their partner a chance to start missing them. So, the number one long-distance relationship advice is maintaining healthy borders and not becoming a constant dark shadow in the life of your love interest. When you are on the same territory or if you are separated by the ocean, you shouldn’t be pushing your significant other with your constant “attention” to a stage when she or he starts thinking about taking a break in a relationship with you because they feel pressed and trapped under your vigilant constant control. They feel like they don’t have time and strength anymore to live their lives – meeting with friends from time to time, having dinners with their family, going to the gym, watching a movie, or reading a book alone. And what will happen once they reunite with their lover? Does it have to feel suffocating?
4. If you are in LDR you should learn how to trust your partner. We are all human beings, and
We all have fears that we can be easily replaced. This doesn’t sound too optimistic and pleasant, does it? If you and your best half want to make it work, you must learn how to trust each other. How to do it? Share your plans with your girlfriend, keep her involved in your life but at the same time do not suffocate her with too much information or too much control. Does she need to know which sandwich you had for lunch? Tell him or her with which friends you plan to go out tonight,
what play you plan to see.
5. With all the new advanced technologies couples can be in touch all the time. Have you ever noticed that nowadays with some of your friends who live in different cities and even countries you share more news and feel more involved with their lives than with some local friends? Why? Because these friends send you more photos and text you daily while with your local friends you try to schedule a meeting for coffee for a few weeks already but still can’t find the time which will work both for your busy schedules. Most of our couples confess they had built quality communication when they were separated by distance because they were asking questions and reading answers.
6. Usually, there is much less negative communication. People often romanticize their LDR partner, therefore, they don’t feel like blaming their perfect lover for mundane problems that happen in everyday life.
7. When you are in a long-distance relationship you tend to believe that your partner is truly unique. Partly it is true. If we are talking about international dating then your partner represents another culture and country, very often speaks another language and this makes you feel truly intrigued and excited about your love story.
8. You dream about bigger goals – like getting married, buying a house, or perhaps relocating together to another country once you can physically be together. This makes the whole experience different and more romantic. Singles feel ready to make short-term sacrifices to achieve their big long-term goals. One of our couples has waited 18 months during the lockdown while the borders of Australia were closed. This couple had to be very creative to keep mutual interest strong and to build even more anticipation.
9. It is important to keep in mind that LDR is not for everyone. We have watched it many times when a couple has really strong chemistry during their offline dates but once they are separated and have to continue getting to know each other by Skype or zoom they lose all the enthusiasm within just two weeks. You have to be truly open-minded, romantic, and optimistic to build a healthy meaningful relationship even when you are separated by thousands of kilometers.
10. It is important to choose a person without strong trust issues and insecurities – someone mentally stable and optimistic to build LDR.
We hope our tips are useful to you. You can find more tips and practical dating advice at our YouTube channel. Just dial Diolli.com in the search line on YouTube.