“I knew the second I met you that there was something about you I needed. Turns out it wasn’t something about you at all. It was just you.” Beautiful Disaster – Jamie McGuire
I love reading! I read a lot of business literature, psychological books, classics and of course necessary books and articles for my PHD research. Every now and then I feel like reading a modern novel. Usually novels help me relax and even give me inspiration for my blog for ladies. Sometimes, of course they remind me “what I should never write”.
What is so addictive about modern romantic novels? Well, I believe it is a fact that LOVE in these novels usually conquers all and even if there is no happy end, such novels still make us believe that “all you need is love” or a boyfriend.
Men in such novels are either rich handsome sexy guys (think of Mr. Grey from “50 Shades of Grey”) or “bad boys” covered in tattoos and riding Harley Davidson. The main female character will try her best at the first part of the novel not to fall for HIS charm, but still she will fall in love with him, they will have a passionate kiss and really hot sex and after that she will suffer because of some obstacles, but at the end “love will conquer all” and he will marry her and they will have two kids. The scenario is usually pretty predictable, but still addictive. The way the author describes HIS perfect 6.10 tall body with perfect six-pack and strong muscular arms make women’s imagination go gaga.
This is a type of man too many women secretly dream about. They try to find exactly the same exemplar in real life and they are not ready to accept anything less.
So often I hear from my male clients that they are “so visual” or they are just “more visual, than all other guys”, that “they truly cherish beauty” etc. Many of these gentlemen completely forget about a very important aspect: “Ladies also are visual”.
Every time I have an interview with a gentleman who is 5.4, despite the fact he is sweet, well-educated, smart and established, I understand that his height will limit his pool of possible matches. So after the interview I start to build a strategy in my head, how I will present my male client to the ladies to get him good matches. When I work with gentlemen, who are about 5.4 I try to concentrate on those ladies, who have overcome this “I date only guys, who are 6.10 with perfect six-pack” syndrome usually by being burnt by a “perfect guy”. I look for ladies, who would truly appreciate and like my client who is 5.4, because of his personality, blue eyes, great education, romantic ideas, cooking skills or habit to open doors for her. Such ladies will find him hot for who he is – all of him.
My matchmaking strategy looks reasonable? Doesn’t it? Well, sometimes my male clients create some extra complications themselves and this prevents them from meeting someone special.
Not so long ago I have been working with a gentleman, who is just 5.2. He was divorced and had two kids from his previous marriage. My client was well-educated and spoke 3 foreign languages. His wishes and demands regarding his “perfect match” were pretty reasonable at the very beginning. He wanted to date someone petite, well-educated, sweet and at least 8 years younger.
As we all know appetite comes with food. After conducting several introductions my male client became “greedy”. A sweet, well-educated, petite younger lady was already “not good enough for him”. He wanted her to have green eyes and “skinny knees”. After several dates he demanded I create a “Frankenstein” for him, because he found hair of the first girl really appealing, but her personality was not as sweet as the personality of the girl number two, and the third girl I have introduced him to had the most beautiful green eyes, but her knees were not as skinny as the knees of the fifth girl…
So is it possible to find a person, whom you will find 100% appealing? Is it possible to marry a petite blond with perfect green eyes, skinny knees, and sweet personality, University Degree in Classical Russian Literature, who will find short not traditionally handsome guys hot? I would say that your dating strategy seriously sucks.
When you start searching for your best half the healthy approach is to look for a person and not for “special parts”. Look for someone, who finds you with all your strengths and weaknesses truly amazing. Look for a person, who will think you are really hot, even when you are sick or have just taken a 15 hours flight. If there is something you like about a girl in front of you, give yourself a chance to get to know her better. Maybe she is just what you are looking for, despite the fact her eyes are not perfectly green and knees are not super skinny.
Of course you can try to become a guy from a book – the dream of every woman. Just keep in mind that fashion for books and book heroes is changeable: several years ago girls wanted to date a sexy Vampire from Twilight saga, then Mr. Grey. Don’t forget that usually reality is much more exciting than fantasy if you choose to live in the reality and make it special.
Svetlana Mukha, with love )!