Do you remember the famous Bryan Adams’ song? I will remind you of the lyrics:
«To really love a woman
To understand her you gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought see every dream
N’ give her wings when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin’ helpless in her arms
Ya know ya really love a woman»
Many men think it is impossible to understand a woman. I would tell this is a cliché. After interviewing thousand of Ukrainian ladies I can honestly tell you that the desires and dreams of different women are pretty much the same. Most of the ladies dream about a romantic adventure, about the man that will give her “wings when she wants to fly”. For most of the ladies the bouquet of flowers will be a tangible signal “he likes me” and “he finds me attractive”. Most of the ladies will put these flowers at their bedroom to look at them before she goes to sleep and when she wakes up.
Romantic message especially if you are in long distant relationship can remind her of the great moments that you have shared off-line. Of course if you keep sending similar messages soon they will loose their meaning for the lady. One of my female clients after having several off-line dates with our male client was truly excited to continue their off-line communication on-line. They were talking in skype and texting in viber. She thought it was romantic. It actually was romantic for the first 5-6 weeks but after that the simple “good morning” and “good night” were not enough any more. Each time he has texted her the standard “how are you” she has replied him with the standard “fine. Thank you”. All the chemistry and magic of their face-to-face dates has died because they didn’t feed it.
What could our male client do to prevent this situation?
He could have planned another face-to-face meeting and give her the exact date when they will meet again. This would keep the fire burning because she would know the exact date and know that it is all serious and for real. 10 days before the meeting he could have order flowers or a bottle of wine for her. She would be able to touch his present and it will give her a feeling of his presence. And of course he should have come over to meet with her. First 5-6 weeks after the meeting face-to-face are the most difficult in long-distant relationship. Actually they will indicate if this relationship can be built and can survive the long distance.
«When you love a woman you tell her
That she’s really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she’s the one
‘Cause she needs somebody to tell her
That it’s gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
Really really ever loved a woman?»
Every woman wants to feel wanted and beloved. If you create this feeling and grow it in her heart and mind then you will win her heart and love. If you won’t create the feeling that she is truly loved and wanted, the lady will feel dissatisfied and you risk losing her to the competitor who will manage to create the romance she is craving for.
One of my female clients was truly upset after the date with an American gentleman. Before the date she was super excited and really interested in him. She has even researched the information about his hometown and history of that area, because she knew he was interested in history. In her imagination he would bring her beautiful flowers, they would drink Champaign during the hot summer night and after that dance till the morning. And when she will be too tired to dance, she will take her shoes off and he will carry her in his arms to the taxi and kiss her. Sounds like a fantasy from a romantic novel, doesn’t it?
In real life he was 20 minutes late to the date and she felt nervous and confused. She thought that perhaps she went to the wrong restaurant or perhaps he has spotted her from the distance and has walked away. Anyway these 20 minutes of waiting were not pleasant.
He has arrived without flowers and brought her a T-shirt with the name of the company he works for. This was not what she has expected or wanted. Instead of Champaign he has ordered beer and didn’t even ask if she wanted a glass of wine. He didn’t ask her to dance and didn’t compliment her new dress. The mood of the lady was spoiled. She didn’t feel special or wanted at all.
“To really love a woman
Let her hold you –
til ya know how she needs to be touched
You’ve gotta breathe her – really taste her
Til you can feel her in your blood
N’ when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
Ya know ya really love a woman”
The huge problem of many single gentlemen is the fact they can’t read signals. Of course men often say that it would be so much easier if the lady could just say – “Kiss me” or “Hold my hand”, but I have no doubts you will agree that the demands like that and the whole idea that you have to ask for a kiss can kill the romance. If you ask for an advice of the professional matchmaker I can honestly tell you that it is better not to push too hard. If you want to kiss a lady wait for the signal that you can kiss her, otherwise you risk never seeing her again. When the lady will decide that it is time and she wants to be touched she will find the way to show you what she wants.
“You got to give her some faith – hold her tight
A little tenderness – gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin’ good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman…”
Dear gentleman I wish you all to really love a woman and if you have difficulties finding her you can always ask your matchmaker to conduct a professional search for you.
From Svetlana Mukha, with love!