The idea of the dating site is to let different people communicate on-line. The bigger the amount of users a dating site can attract, the better. The result of work of a professional matchmaker is the number of people who have actually found each other and have started a serious relationship or gotten married. Even the best dating sites can’t be 100% scammer safe, because it is impossible to check each and every client. Professional matchmakers can do this. A professional matchmaker can, and must know his clients because we can’t have too big a base. A professional matchmaker ought to be picky and choose only those people who can be matched, and who really want to find someone special for a serious relationship. Our job is to filter the people who want to be our clients. If a person who wants to become our client has unrealistic demands and expectations, he won’t become our client even if he promises to pay double for our services.
For example, if a 65 years old average looking gentleman claims he wants to marry an 18 years old girl, he won’t become my client because it will be really hard to meet his expectations. Of course I will try to talk to him and explain to him that he can meet a lovely 50 years old lady or even 45 years old lady who would be sincerely interested in him. I would try to explain to him that it is important to build a relationship that can possibly have a future. If he listens to me, then he can become our client and we can actually help him find a special lady. However, if he is stubborn and doesn’t want to be realistic, then it’s likely he will continue surfing different dating sites and will probably be scammed there by someone who is not sincere. This is a shame, but we can’t help everyone.
Matchmaking is not for everyone. It is for people who are serious about their search and are ready to improve themselves if needed. Sometimes what people really need is the fresh look of a professional on their search. Pretty often my male clients claim that they want to date a business woman or a lawyer, but when we start working with them it turns out they need a lady who will be happy to be a housewife and who will devote all her time to a family. Sometimes I deliberately do not tell my clients the profession of the lady before the first date if I know that they will come to the wrong conclusions. The biggest plus of matchmaking is privacy. We respect the privacy of our clients, both male and female. When you are at the dating site, everyone including your ex-wife or best friend can see you there.
At a matchmaking agency, your photos and personal info are on the matchmaker’s database but never on-line. Another big plus is safety. The ladies the man will meet have all been checked by us. When a female client comes to my office, we check her passport. If she is divorced, we will ask for her divorce certificate. If she has two children it will be mentioned that she has two children. If she is 30 years old, she won’t have a chance to say she is 21 years old. I try not to work with ladies who are very young. 18 year old girls usually don’t really know what they want, and the men who are my clients will likely be too old for such girls. Of course there are exceptions. In Ukraine many girls get married very young, so at 22 she can already be divorced or have a child. If I talk to a girl who is 22 and feel she is mature and really ready to date and get married again, then she will be our client. We do the same private interview process with men. If a man asks me to find him someone hot and sexy I will listen carefully to understand if he is really serious about a relationship. If it turns out he is not, then he won’t become my client and will continue surfing different Russian bride sites looking for sex. When a man uses a professional matchmaking services he gets what he has paid for. I will spend enough time to understand his needs and expectations.
We will go through the entire process together. What is really important, even after couples get married we help the ladies to adjust in the new country. Usually the first 6 months are the hardest. Sometimes my male clients can call me at 3 a.m. in the morning (clients often forget about the time difference) and ask for help because his Ukrainian wife is crying and he can’t understand what he did wrong. I start talking to his wife, and it turns out she has parked the car in the wrong place and got a ticket. She never had a car or a chance to drive in Ukraine, so at 47 she learns how to do it and feels ashamed to tell her husband when something goes wrong. I talk to her, calm her down and tell her she has to speak to her husband about this. Here’s another example. She went to the supermarket and has forgotten how to say “cucumbers” in English, couldn’t find them and so couldn’t cook her husband’s favourite salad.
My job at the beginning is to teach people to accept and understand each other, paying attention to cultural differences. Usually each couple gives me from 3 to 10 calls like that, and after that they are calling only to wish me and my office a merry Christmas, to tell me that they are finally pregnant, to ask if they can come over when they visit Ukraine or they are asking if their single neighbour can call me. Dating sites don’t do this. There are plenty of nice people at the dating sites who don’t know how to date on-line. They are too shy to contact someone first, or they are too disappointed to keep searching. No one will help them out at the dating site. They do it on their own. It is the opposite with matchmaking.
These are just a few differences between matchmaking agencies and dating sites. I can talk about this topic for hours because I am really passionate about my job.
It is up to a single person to choose how and where to look for their better half. You can read books or articles on-line, watch TV shows or listen to your married friends. Don’t forget that we all are unique and have our own goals and purposes in life. If you choose internet dating, be aware of all advantages and disadvantages. If you are looking for a matchmaker, choose a good one and try not to be too frugal. Keep in mind that a good divorce lawyer costs more than a decent matchmaker. Don’t forget that where you invest your love, you invest your life. Is it really worth gambling with love?