10 Expert Tips for Dating in Your 30s
Finding love in your 30s is not as simple as when you are 20 years old. You are grown up now, the choice circle has become smaller and the rules of the game have changed. In this article, our Diolli team has decided to share some expert tips about dating after 30, which will help you not to lose the woman of your dreams and make everything right.
- AGE IS JUST A NUMBER.
- DEFINE WHAT EXACTLY YOU WANT.
- PUT THE PAST BEHIND YOU.
- DON’T BE BORING, SAD OR TOO SINCERE.
- GET RID OF YOUR PROTECTION AND HAVE FUN.
- DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME.
- COMMUNICATING IS VITALLY IMPORTANT.
- RELY UPON INTUITION.
- BE YOUR TRUE SELF.
- STOP LOOKING FOR PERFECTION.
Having seen many clients, who want to find a woman 20 years younger than they are, probably subconsciously wishing to stay younger, I am begging you not to forget about women at least your age or a couple of years older. Does it really matter that both you and she are 32? I have a 33-year-old male friend, who is married to a lady of 38. And you know what? They spend high-quality time together, being head-over-hills in love, and cannot imagine their life without each other. REMEMBER: age is just a number and you are the only one, who makes it matter.
Dating in your 30s you are quite a different man, your opinion about what your perfect woman is like is absolutely different. Let me give you an example. When I was 18 I wished to date a guy who had a big car, could offer me dinner in a posh restaurant. I admit that I still do not mind such options, but now, being single at 30, I know that I need more than this.
For instance, I am often anxious because of my mom, so I definitely want a guy, who could help me relax. I love communicating and having fun, so I badly need a spiritually close partner. I adore learning something new, so my winner is a gentleman, who can teach me something new.
If you have never imagined what your lady must be like, my dating advice is to do it. A good idea is to make a list of 3-5 girls you have been seeing recently. Write out 5 features you liked and 5 ones that pissed you off. Put the list away and look at it several days later. Read it carefully. You will surely notice some repetitions. The positive characteristics, which are most common are the ones to look for in a new partner.
Any person single and 30 has likely gone through some tragedy: their partner left them, cheated on them, or even died… Of course, it hurts, but it is time to let bygones be bygones. During the rendezvous, it is surely not worth telling about your ex having lied to you for two years until you noticed. Forget about it! Everyone has something to hide, but that’s no reason to reveal it.
It is undoubted your past has made you who you are now; be thankful to it and move forward.
Being single after 30 it is easy to become a boring and sad man: you have had a lot of failed relationships and do not see a different outcome. It is substantial not to give in to negative thoughts. If you believe you cannot make it, you cannot make it. If you know you can, you WILL.
Do not demonstrate disappointment when you have a meeting with a new person. You do not what might happen next, so give them a chance. It is also desirable to avoid being too sincere. Having a first date, you should not say you want 2 kids and your wife to stay in your beach bungalow waiting till you come. If this girl is YOURS, you can discuss it later.
Having gone through a number of bad break-ups, your subconscious protective system turns on. Therefore, the best idea of how to date in your 30s from its point of view is not to let anyone get close so that they could not hurt you. Unfortunately, avoiding spiritual closeness, you can go past your destiny without even noticing. When the time comes and you meet your person, switch off your protection. Enjoy yourself and get to know each other. If your affair does not make you smile, it makes no sense regardless of the age. It must not be like work and depress you. Every love bond should be full of joy, laughter, and love either at 25 or at 40.
Not long ago I had a date with a guy I had met on one of the dating sites. Having spent 5 minutes with him, I understood we were not a match. And having drunk a glass of wine, I thanked him for everything, told about it, and left inspired.
Why have I wasted my time dating with men I did not like? Do not make the same mistake. If you feel the girl is not your ONE, it is better not to waste both her and your time trying to build something out of nothing.
Quality connection is the base for good relationships. At 30, you must be open and honest with a person you are dating and vice versa. Have you had the first quarrel? Discuss it like grown-up people. If you do not discuss what is going on between you at the early stages, it will get worse later.
I used to have a boyfriend, who looked good, was really nice and lived not far. However, he would always make remarks about something making me mad. I knew in my gut he was not a match for me, still, I kept telling my self he was a good variant. We broke up… Now I always trust my senses and advise you the same. If you have a feeling the lady is not for you, it is highly likely you are right.
It is not worth pretending to be the one you aren’t. You cannot do it forever. So take you as you are and be yourself. Self- confidence is really magnetic.
People must not be together only because they consider themselves more or less acceptable variants. Such a connection is unhealthy and does not last long. However, you should not wait for your Miss Perfect. You are not flawless, so your girl does not have to be such. Prepare to compromise and you will surely find your ONE.
Valeria Matskevich With love