According to the State Statistics Committee of Ukraine the third part of Ukrainian marriages are international. Ukrainian women have no prejudices against international relationship and foreign husband. They dream about having happy family life filled with the sound of children laughing. If you are really interested in building a strong relationship with Ukrainian woman, consider the most common hurdles interracial parents may face.
5 Things to Know Before Having Interracial Kids
One of the most important problems people who are having international relationship may face is establishing children’s identity. Family is the essential factor of forming cultural identity of a person. It is in the family circle that a child begins to realize for the first time which society he belongs to, what language his parents speak, what norms of behavior, traditions are the most acceptable. The more cultural experiences multiracial children have, the better prepared they will be to choose their cultural identity and the less likely they will feel forced to choose one over another.
International relationship provides a perfect opportunity for joint kids to know two languages that are mother tongues of both parents. However, to make your children speak both languages doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do any effort in this process. Just being in the language environment, watching TV will not bring any tangible results. Teaching children speak both languages is everyday work for both children and their parents. And, of course, the process of learning how to write and read in both languages requires even more diligence and time. Don’t be angry if your children may choose their identity with only the one culture (usually it’s the culture of the country in which they currently live) rejecting the native culture of the second parent. Don’t force them to study both languages if children don’t want it. Choosing one identity does not mean that they are rejecting the other parent’s love. Let your children know you support their identity choice and that it doesn’t affect your attitude towards them.
The case of divorce
You should consider the possibility of divorce and it’s tragic influence on your children. Of course, the fact of divorce will always be a painful topic but in case of international relationship it has much more serious consequences. With whom will children stay? This question can be solved by the law of the country where the former family lives, by the court, or this issue might have been already discussed in the marriage contract. Unfortunately, most often it happens that the law is on the side of the parent who is a native resident. In any event, children won’t see their other parent for a long term or even forever. And this is perhaps the main problem of international marriages, which should always be kept in mind when deciding to start an international relationship.
The topic of the interracial kids’ health is quite controversial. There is an opinion that these children are born healthier, larger and more talented. And partly it’s true. If we are talking about international relationship of a man and a woman of very different origin, then, indeed, their children can be larger and more viable. However, this effect is not inherited, appears only in the first generation and then fades out. Moreover, a child receives one gene from the mother and the other from the father. If, for example, one of the mother’s genes is damaged, then it is replaced by a healthy father’s one. Thus, the child is protected from defective and sick genes. If the mother and the father are representatives of different races than a healthy father’s gene could be rejected and the child will get a genetic disease as a result.
Children from international families have an exotic appearance that some people may consider lovely and unique while other may see it as an oddity. The problem of bullying may touch every child but interracial kids are most likely to become victims of harassment. If you are having an international relationship, be ready to teach your child how to protest and answer to racist utterances, how to say no to people who are asking questions about his or her appearance. Try to make sure that your children don’t embarrassed of themselves and their origin.