5 tips for meeting her parents for the first time
Meeting the parents in relationship is a serious step. The future of your relationship doesn`t depend on them, but still they are an important part of everyone`s life, so it is good if they approve their daughter`s choice. And if a girlfriend comes from a different background, it makes it a bit difficult too.
You will not be surprised that one day you will have to go through this stage in relationship too when you are meeting her parents for the first time. That is why it is necessary to prepare well not to spoil the first impression. If you feel you need some help, read our tips and you will be on top.
5 TIPS FOR MEETING HER PARENTS:
While preparing for the meeting with the girl’s parents for the first time you must keep three aspects in mind:
- Collect the information. Do a little homework before the actual lesson. It is good to be all armed. Ask the girl about her parents, so that you could know what to expect. You are likely to be asked about your plans, whether you are thinking of getting married or not; how serious you are, what your source of income is. You should also learn where they work, what their hobbies are, what her family interests are, etc. Learn their names and ask which topics to avoid. If you don`t feel comfortable to ask direct questions to a girl about them, definitely she shared some stories from childhood, try to remember.
- Choose the clothes. What to wear to meet the parents? First impression matters, they don`t know you yet, so how you present yourself is not only about what you say, but also about how you look. Your outfit must be clean, neat and ironed. Forget about oversize clothes or too tight jeans, as these are not associated with a serious man. However, do not think that I am telling you to wear a formal suit with a bowtie. It will be enough to dress plainly but elegantly and with taste to give a good impression about you. And do not forget about your hair and manicure. In any case, ask your girl for advice. She definitely knows what to do to make the parents like you.
Of course, you will want to impress your girlfriend`s parents during the meeting. Still, do not try to show too much enthusiasm, even if you are an energetic person, or you are nervous and your feelings go over the edge. Do not throw yourself at parents once the door opens or say: “Oh, here is THE Alexander Petrovich! I have heard so much about you! How is your arthritis doing? Are you taking care of it? Is it fine? ”
Instead you should wait for the girl’s father to reach out his hand to you and then shake it with moderate enthusiasm. Answer the questions politely, joke timely.
Diversify the conversation.
It is natural to be nervous. Some men even feel panic and start going over small talks like: “Well, today’s weather is not so good. It is cold, partly cloudy. The rainfall is below normal. If we compare it with the last year’s indicators…” Stop! Even if you are dating a Ukrainian girl, who is an ancestral meteorologist, everybody will be as bored listening to it as you are bored talking about it. That is why you should not go into general topics, which are “safe”. You should better ask where they have got “that porcelain vase” from. Concentrate on details, which you will see in the flat like photos, souvenirs, etc. Ask to tell some funny stories about your fiancée`s childhood and share yours too. It always helps to set a positive atmosphere and find out more about each other. Kind memories from childhood are the best memories, which they like so much to share, they remember a lot of details and keep loads of photo moments. It is their time to shine, they like this topic. Give genuine compliments, but do not overdo. It should be appropriate and at the right time, you can mention how beautiful their house is, usually mothers take care of a garden or flowers, which will be displayed on the window. One of the best compliments you can give to a Ukrainian mum is mentioning amazing cooking skills, say how tasty this dish is and wonder how she managed to make it so soft and rich in taste. She would gladly share the recipe and would be very happy to hear it. Avoid complimenting on the age something like: “ You look so young, you could be my girlfriend`s sister.” It wouldn`t be appropriate, you may use other ways to compliment.
Try not to touch religious or political topics. For example, dating a Ukrainian girl you can expect to be asked what you think about the political situation in Ukraine. So, even if you have strong views and opinions considering this issue, try to escape the discussion. Or give a neutral answer not to cause an argument. Or if you have already made the first step to it, because her parents’ views differ from yours, you have to stop. Do you think the girl’s parents have been waiting for some man to prove something to them and change their opinion? I doubt it. However, an argument can easily spoil the relationship.
Do not offer your help if not asked.
Imagine the situation: You are dating a Ukrainian girl who told you that her father’s car is constantly breaking. You want to make friends with her dad and when you meet him you say: So, you are saying your car is acting up all the time. Believe it or not, but I know a great mechanic. I can call him immediately and we will solve the problem!
It is a bad idea. You must not call the mechanic or check the car yourself. You must not recommend a good bank, cafe or anything even if you have used it yourself. Why? That is because you do not know if you will help. What if the bank flops or the cafe turns out to be the worst place the girl’s parents have ever been to? REMEMBER: the first meeting exists for you and the girl’s parents to take a look at each other without starting mutual businesses, whose result is not known.
Should you bring a gift for your girlfriend`s parents?
Definitely it is a good idea. There is no need to be specific and know their taste to make them happy. There are plenty of small gifts for your girlfriend`s mom, which will bring a smile on her face. A bouquet of beautiful flowers and a box of chocolates are the best gifts for any lady. You may bring a bottle of champagne to celebrate the occasion, but before double check if they drink alcohol.
One of my female friends told me a story how her fiancé met her parents. He is from the USA and she is from Ukraine. Two different cultures and a foreign language didn`t become an obstacle to unite this wonderful family. She was worried how the first meeting was going to happen, because her parents didn`t know English, just some knowledge from school. Her father was reading all English textbooks, which he found at home before the first meeting at least to say few words and sentences while mum was preparing dishes, reading new recipes to impress their guest. They live in the countryside and have their vineyard, so they set a table in the garden next to beautiful grapes, her father is very proud of their harvest. He was worried too a bit, but everything went perfectly fine, as if he had known them forever. There was no language barrier, a father was wisely using his English words and tried to combine them into sentences while mum was cheerfully putting tasty dishes on the table, they were drinking home wine and seemed like they really had seen each other before. When love is around, there are no borders. It makes wonders!