Before starting boutique matchmaking company Diolli.com 9 years ago, I have been working as an interpreter at several dating agencies or as they often call themselves “marriage agencies” which were collaborating with big International Dating Sites. I am extremely grateful for that experience, because not every day you get a chance to actually be present at 1000 of dates of different people and observe their actions, words, mistakes.
To be honest, that experience often helps me more than some classical psychological theories from numerous books I am constantly reading.
First of all I would like to point out that “on-line” and “off-line” dating are SO different, even though they share many similar goals and the most important one is to give singles a chance to meet other singles.
On-line dating has its benefits and of course its weak points, but this article is not about this. Today I want to talk about 5 types of ladies to avoid at the international dating sites.
Before we get there I will make two little remarks.
First: while communicating through the international dating site always keep in mind that until you have met in person you are not in relationship yet, which means until you have met face-to-face in real life, not through computer screen – she is not your girlfriend and you are not her boyfriend.
Second: if you have met in person and there was no mutual sparkle or she didn’t feel like meeting you for a second time – this doesn’t automatically place her into the black list of scammers or gold-diggers. Two of you had a chance, two of you have decided to use it and you have met in person. It didn’t work out, well, sometimes dating is not just “flowers and candies”, so grieve about it like for 15-20 minutes maximum and move on!
Now it is time for our main topic.
5 types of ladies to avoid while “dating” at the International Dating Sites
- Everlasting bride
I am sure you have faced this type of ladies not only at international, but also at local dating sites. I will give you an example, you have just registered at the dating site and you see her there. Some dating sites even give you a possibility to see she has been registered at this site for 3 or 4 years. You have met someone and took your profile off, it didn’t work out and you are back to the same dating site to try your luck again a year after and you spot her again – she is still there. Well, you can assume that she just was not lucky to find “her man” and she is still searching, but in 3 or 4 years even by the probability theory, she has to meet someone. Why isn’t she changing the dating site, while obviously it is not working for her? Of course she might have forgotten she has a profile at this dating site and she is not using it at all, but if you see that she has just downloaded new photos and she has been on-line just yesterday, then trust your sixth sense and avoid her profile, because the reality is she might be too picky or not actually interested in finding someone. It can be her favourite hobby – meet different people with no goal to choose one! Or she is just interested in free dinners with a new guy every night. Anyway, if she is there for several years and she is actually using her profile – this is not a good sign.
- On-line bride
You have chatted with her for two hours and then she has told you she has to go. You have logged out, but 15 minutes later you have decided to log in again and here she is still on-line. Well, first of all this doesn’t prove she is a witch and has to be burnt, just because she is not chatting exclusively with you. Don’t forget two points I have mention at the very beginning of this article: if you haven’t met in person yet, she is not your girlfriend! The fact she is still on-line means she is chatting with someone else, she didn’t log out or she is uploading new photos – many excuses, which you shouldn’t bother about. What you should bother is the fact she is not willing to meet in real life. This should be a BIG BRIGHT RED FLAG for you. You have offered her to meet for dinner and she says NO, but keeps talking to you on-line. Why is she doing that? Let’s assume, she didn’t like your photos or she believes your eyes are not green enough for her to agree to have a date with you. We get it – she is not attracted to you. If she is not attracted then why is she wasting her time chatting to a man she doesn’t find appealing enough to meet in person? Why, if there is still plenty of fish? I will share a huge “secret” with you: girls use dating sites to get dates. If she is single again and she feels ready to find her soul-mate the first thing she does – getting a new dress, manicure and a profile at a dating site (sometimes at international dating site). She won’t be interested in talking to you for weeks. She will be interested in you inviting her on a date – choosing her from other ladies at this dating site. She will be willing to put that new dress on and going out to find out if she wants to have your last name. Of course this rule doesn’t apply if you are talking to a 15 years old, which I assume you know is not legal.
If you have asked her a few times to meet in person and each time she comes with an excuse, then either she is looking for a “serial pen-friend” or there is something wrong with her reasons to be at the dating site. It is absolutely ok to say no to a stranger who is approaching you at the dating site, because you don’t like his photos or hobbies, but it is super strange to say no to a meeting, but to keep chatting on-line.
- To good to be true
You have opened her profile and here she is a runway model. All her photos are professional and high quality. She is wearing professional make-up and her hair is done. She is just too good to be true and probably she is. She is 22 years old and she claims she is open to date a gentleman up to 65 years old. Really? Why?! If she is so beautiful and so seductive, why is she looking for someone who is elder than her parents? Maybe her photos are just a bait or she just wants to play? Anyway this is not a good start. If you don’t want to play some strange games just move to another profile that is less suspicious and looks more real.
- Sexy Doll with PHD
You open her profile and her she is wearing just pink lingerie and claiming she is a university professor. Well, of course, there are sexy seductive eastern European ladies with Masters in Business or PHD, but they do not post their half naked photos in the internet, because this can kill their career. Let’s assume she is just craving for attention and she has decided to risk her career and she has posted lingerie photos at a dating site. The next question should be: “Why is she so desperate?” Perhaps something has happened to her self-esteem that makes her work on it by posting provocative photos at a dating site? Anyway, even if the PHD is real and she is the person she claims she is, this doesn’t mean it is your duty to rescue her. Collecting broken people while dating is never a good idea, because it won’t give you healthy relationship that you deserve. Of course if this is a “special” sexual site, then go for it.
If you are looking for a mother of your future children then you should keep in mind that those sexy half naked photos were posted not exclusively for you and perhaps half of state Texas and a good part of Canada have observed them too, so it is better to avoid that provocative profile, unless you want to share.
- On-line star
At most dating sites both local and international there are always these most popular profiles. The reasons for this popularity can be different: the person can be very beautiful and the site can choose the photos just to attract more users or the owner of this profile can be a super active user writing and receiving lots of messages. The chances are still not good and risks can be too high. Your message to this person can be one of so many and you will have to compete for attention of this person. The owner of this popular profile can be already spoilt by all the attention and “fame” at this dating site. Usually communication with “On-line stars” doesn’t start healthy romantic relationship and will mean just a waste of time.
As a conclusion I want to remind you that a key to successful romantic international dating is positive thinking and keeping a head on your shoulders. Don’t fall in love with professional photos and wait till you meet in real life! I wish you all successful pleasant dating experience!