7 Practical Dating Tips for Shy Guys
Are you aware of that unpleasant feeling you get around hot girls? Your arms are heavy. Your face starts blushing. Weak knees. It’s an old, tongue-in-cheek phrase that means someone feels so scared that he thinks he is going to collapse and fall over. To tell the truth, you are not alone. There are a lot of shy guys all around the world; and the good news is that shyness isn’t an obstacle to successful dating. Do women like shy guys? To be honest, some of them may believe shy guys are cute. However, to give you the best chance of finding someone special we’d like to offer some useful practical dating and flirting tips for shy guys on how to start a meaningful conversation with a lady effectively.
Remarkably, most guys are fairly comfortable around other men. Perhaps because the vast majority of men don’t want to date the guy they’re interacting with. One of the major reasons is the lack of communication with ladies.
1. Pay attention and develop your body language
Sometimes shyness goes hand-in-hand with self-doubt and you might feel invisible. Nevertheless, you could never be invisible. We bet someone has already noticed you and is waiting for a little eye contact, a smile, or some small signs of reassurance. Stay open to your surroundings and look around to see who might be interested in you, then acknowledge them with your body language. Smile and act fearlessly. The keyword here is “act.” Think of an extroverted friend who has no trouble approaching people, and do your best to act like him. Seriously. Play the part and see what it feels like.
2. Take tiny steps
You don’t have to become Mr. Outgoing overnight. Start by pushing yourself to talk to two or three random strangers every time you go out, and just become comfortable with the interactions. Your words don’t need to be deep or meaningful. They just need to get the interaction moving.
3. Talk to different girls wherever you can
Have you ever heard of the art of small talk? Communicate with your female coworkers, friends and incident acquaintances. Is it a great moment to become more social and improve your communication skills? It’s highly recommended by experts: you should put yourself in a wide variety of social situations as often as possible. Who are the most effective communicators, in your point of view? You’re able to observe and explore their strategies. What techniques do they use? What do they say? Try to imitate their style, striking up a conversation with women you meet in social gatherings.
4. Improve your skills
Why don’t you talk about the weather? Yes, it seems dull, but it is a good neutral topic that everyone can relate to. Besides, you can discuss work, arts and entertainment, books and movies, news and current events, hobbies, and food.
Try to ask open-ended questions. Also, you’d better engage in active listening. Stay positive and discuss optimistic topics. Avoid complaining, airing grievances, or discussing pessimistic things. Should you bring up something that isn’t generating interest or figure out you’re in an awkward situation, move on to something else. Remember, making great small talk gets easier with practice.
5. Take the pressure off yourself and show your interest
Keep in mind that you just need to show your genuine interest in others. Would you like to make a person feel important and accepted? You’d better focus your attention on her inner world, her needs and interests. Ask a lot of questions and give smart compliments. Be ready to ask her what she does for fun, what she’s passionate about, if she has siblings or likes sports, theater, art, traveling, what her favorite book or movie is. You’d better prepare to talk about your experiences and hobbies. What movie have you just watched? What country or city have you just visited? What gallery or museum have you just attended? What sports are you keen on? What book have you just read?
While we should never be afraid to share a nice word about another, putting a little more thought into our compliments can go a long way in communicating. Of course, every woman wants to hear that she is intelligent and beautiful and charming and kind and funny. Who wouldn’t? But no girl wants to be only intelligent, only kind, only funny. “You are just so” could be heard as “you are only.” Instead of slipping into these cliches, why not try adding some creativity to your compliments by recognizing something extraordinary. Try something like, “Not only are you smart, you look gorgeous,” or “You speak foreign languages fluently. It’s amazing! Besides, you seem to be an avid reader and an incredible cook.”
6. Date as much as you can to practice confidence and ease that can truly impress people
Try speed dating. Try to invite girls for coffee or lunch. For instance, if you have lunch with your date, comment on the surroundings. Talk about the food. Not just “Yummy dip!” but something more open-ended, such as: “There is such a unique flavor or spice in this that I cannot quite put my finger on. What do you think it is?” You can also start conversations based on decorative items in the room.
Be prepared for awkward pauses. At this point, the trick is to be prepared for conversational lulls so you can avoid feeling anxious. Be prepared with a couple of observations about the room, followed by a question. Or you might say something like “Where are you from originally?” or go back. In particular, “Earlier, you said…” or “I am curious to know more about…”
7. Do what you love
Do you love rock concerts? Live music? Skiing? Hiking? Find people who share those interests and join up with them. It’s hard to be shy when you’re doing something that gets you excited. Women will notice when you’re at your best.
Hope our dating advice will be helpful for shy guys!