8 Habits that Hurt Your Relationship
Relationships are fragile. It is a game of two people, where each player should do his best. Love is beautiful, but under different circumstances and reasons we might destroy it. Here are unhealthy relationship habits and if you keep on doing them you risk to hurt your partner:
- Lying. If you break the trust once, it is unlikely to earn it back. If you think that you are lying for the sake of your partner`s peace, it is not right in any case. Either you have troubles at work or you want to sneak to have beer with your male friends, be open and share.
- Deceiving. There is absolutely no room for cheating, it kills any feelings. If you even consider this, then think about reasons, maybe you lack sexual satisfaction or emotional stability. There are two ways of solving it, either you find the solution together or break up. Don`t betray the person while she still trusts you and believes in you.
- Plan B. You shouldn`t consider your partner as a Plan B, she must be your only priority. Stop comparing her with your ex, mum or female friends.
- Prevailing. Even though a man is naturally considered to dominate, don`t overdo it. Give space to each other, respect different hobbies and interests.
- Being suspicious. If you constantly have trust issues, checking each other`s phones, check whereabouts even after being told the location.
- Nagging. Stop finding faults in everything, it is absolutely normal to have fights sometimes. As we say in Ukraine: Lovers`quarrels mean the renewal of love. But don`t overdo it, you shouldn`t constantly make negative comments about everything . We all love a little bit of drama, but no one wants “Santa Barbara”.
- Abuse. Mental or physical abuse is definitely hurting any relationship. Physical abuse is destructive, you should leave such person or turn for help. Mental abuse is much stronger, can be very harsh and unrelenting. No matter how big it is, you should avoid doing it and recognize in case you are the victim. Here are few hints of emotional abuse: public embarrassment (your partner tries to reveal your hidden secrets for everyone`s exposure); belittling accomplishments (even if it is a small achievement, instead of praising a partner tries to diminish it); unilateral decision-making (cancelling Spa or dentist`s appointment, because it doesn`t correspond with personal plans); neglecting your problems, considering it is not that important and accusing you of being too needy.
- Being pessimistic. Learn how to stop being pessimistic in a relationship all the time. It is ok not to be in the mood sometimes for various reasons, but it shouldn`t be a constant feeling.
How to break bad habits in a relationship? It is like quitting smoking, drinking or taking drugs. It is not simple. Any habit is a repeated action. Take full responsibility of your actions. If you have been told already that what you are doing hurts other person`s feelings, then start controlling yourself and change it.
What to do when you are in a bad relationship? Try to find valid reasons, if relationship doesn`t bring peace and happiness, but only worries, then you have to react. How to make a bad relationship good? If you put your relationship on the scale from 1 to 10, where is it on the scale? If you score it 5 or less, it is a bad alarm.
Here are some healthy relationship habits:
- Devote your time. Doesn`t matter how busy you are, lack of attention to your partner may lead to serious problems.
- Appreciating. Thank your partner for who he is, find good things and compliment on them. When we acknowledge small things, it really matters.
- Help to do household chores. Don`t make it a burden, make fun and enjoy spending time together even doing a routine job.
- Surprise her. Give flowers, chocolate or just send a love note. Romance will keep a spark for a long time.
Let me share with you a story about a happy couple and their healthy habits. I met them once while visiting their winery. Their names are Nancy and Bernard. A lovely couple in their late 80s. By looking at them you will totally say: “They are meant for each other”. After a long 50 years together they haven`t lost the spark between them, he doesn`t forget to tell sweet words and to say “I love you”. The way he looks at her doing even routine things….ohh…you must see it with you own eyes, so much love and tenderness, appreciation of the moment. He looks at her like he sees her for the first time, a look full of admiration. They have been running their own winery together, all the warmth they give to people is countless, because they have it within. He is witty and funny, she is kind and generous. They have a beautiful garden where they spend most of the time, children and grandchildren. By asking them what are the secret of their success? They answered while holding hands and there were no words needed, their touch meant a lot.
Avoiding bad relationships is unpredictable, you don`t even think about it when you only meet a person and you are excited. If you are in relationships with no future you should know how to leave bad relationship.
How to stop a bad relationship? First and the most efficient way is to analyze when and why something went wrong. If you still can manage it by yourself, by sincerely talking to your partner, you should do it. Try all the common sense tools before you leave, in case nothing can help.
A couple who found the key to successful relationship is like a good wine, with time it becomes only stronger, full of flavours and new emotions.