8 Things That Happen When You Try to Rush a Relationship
If you are rushing into a relationship, you feel incomplete or you are trying to get over ex partner. Maybe you have noticed that you rush through life in general. Then you should stop and savor every moment, take a moment to enjoy your morning coffee. When was the last time you enjoyed the nature, the morning dew or the sky? Take time to sit at the backseat and savor small pleasures of life. When you rush through life, you simply forget to live it, it concerns all aspects (love, work, friends). Do you have a never-ending to-do-list and even after checking off everything that supposed to be done, you still find something to fit in? Enjoy life simple luxuries:
- Read an interesting book or watch an inspiring film.
- Share a chocolate with a friend.
- Take a morning stroll when the nature is still innocent.
- Enjoy a company of your friends.
When you start dating someone, don`t stress yourself if it is your Mrs. Right or not. Try to make connection, get to know the person better, finding best qualities and flaws too. But don`t try to put together something that is falling completely apart. Know that it is ok to leave if you are not compatible at the end.
How not to rush into a relationship? People should enjoy their own company first. By rushing in a relationship, you may just get attached to each other without any valid ground. Going from 0 to 100 in a short period of time may “burn” you down.
Is it bad to rush into a relationship? There are not very promising consequences.
What does rushing mean?
- You hide your real qualities, showing the best part of yourself, pretending to be very generous just to win love, but in fact you are very prudent and try to distribute finances wisely, thinking that a bouquet of flowers is a waste of money. But now you give flowers almost every day to impress her. So when it comes to “real” life, she will see your real qualities and might get frustrated.
- It is good when you see good qualities in a partner, but if you idealize her without even knowing the person, it is not healthy. Give it time to unfold before deciding it is the one.
- Spending every single day with a partner. It is toxic, especially at the start of dating.
- It is amazing feeling to be in love, but when you rush to say “I love you” on the second date, it is definitely unhealthy. First it shows not very serious intentions, second even though you feel overwhelmed, it doesn`t mean it is love. It might be strong attraction or chemistry.
- Moving together too quickly. You should realize responsibilities, it is a next level, where you can feel comfortable only if you know each other well and have compatibility. If you think that amazing sex is a good ground for living together, you might get frustrated after. Because coexisting in the same space it is far more than just sex.
- Leaving a toothbrush at your partner`s place is nothing to do with commitment. It doesn’t mean you have to date with three people at a time and leave things of personal hygiene at their apartments. It means you should take time to weigh all the pros and cons of a future together with a particular woman.
- You spell out all the stories about your parents, relatives, all the misfortunes happened to you during lifetime, all the secrets in the first month. Before opening your heart there should be a considerable amount of time.
What does desperate mean in a relationship? Picking someone out of desperation, because you are going through a dry spell or all your friends are in couples, is going to lead to self-destruction in the end.
What if your relationship is moving fast but it feels right to you? You might have moved in together and feel happy. How not to screw up a new relationship?
Things for a good and healthy relationship:
- Spend time with friends and family, do not devote yourself 100% to a lady.
- There is a balance between “talking” time and “listening”. It should be equal, don`t listen for the sake of just listening, you must hear the person who speaks her mind.
- Look for someone who laughs at the same jokes as you, sense of humour is what keeps couples together. If you can switch the mood from negative to positive, it is a big plus.
- Emotional support. When you are happy, you share the joy with your woman as well as when you feel down, there is a hand to hold and support you no matter what.
- At the end of the day extend your usual question: “How was your day”.
- Compromise. Before giving up, learn to find compromises.
- Make memories together. Travel to places you like, do some fun activities like scuba diving.
- Personal space.
- You should learn how to forgive and not hold a grudge to the person if it is not something fatal like cheating.
And here is the list of things that ruin relationships:
- Silence is a killer. When your partner needs emotional support or you had a fight, don`t think that silence will help to solve the problem. Communication is the key to success.
- Only woman does all the household chores and you think cooking, ironing and washing up the dishes is not for men.
- No physical manifestation of love, you say dry “I love you” once a month and think it is enough. Lack of kissing, touching each other, hugging will ruin your intimacy.
- Being disloyal.
- Manipulation. For example, when fighting, you or your partner posts a picture with a person of an opposite sex to cause jealousy; post quotes on social media with double meaning instead of talking directly.
- Withholding sex to get what you want or to punish.
- Always waiting for something in return. “I have bought her new shoes”- I hope she will love me forever. “I helped her with a career”- She must never leave me and be grateful.
- Physical abuse. It is the worst thing ever can happen. But putting down a partner in a moral way is even worse.
How to fix a rushed relationship? Rewinding can be difficult, but nothing is impossible if you put enough efforts.
- Find out the initial reason why you did so.
- Speak about what you feel with a partner, does she feel the same or it is just your perception and in fact everything is normal? Maybe you overthink.
- If you really both agree that you rushed the events, sit and talk.
- Find a new hobby, travel, unwind your mind a bit.
- Slow down and continue getting to know each other, but step by step.
- Remember, not all relationships need to be saved. If you feel trapped and pressured, leave what makes you down.
Assuming that great sex is equal to long-term compatibility is the road to disappointment. Interest in having sex is better than indifference in intimacy, but still it is just a small seed. The same as you try to pull a car with a dead battery or without an oil. Pay more attention to emotional connection between you.