5 Dos and Don’ts When Writing the First Online Dating Message

What to say in the first message online dating to impress a possible future girlfriend? Lots of guys rack the brains to find the answer. Finding a pretty match is great, still, that’s not much help if you do not start communicating. So, what has to be done and what is forbidden to have a good catch? This article will help you to find out about it.

Let’s discuss the tips for online dating messages uncovering 5 DON’Ts you should avoid doing.

  1. Don’t send a small first message in online dating like “Hi”, “Let’s get acquainted”, “How are you doing?” It is simply a banal commonplace thing, which most men who do not want to think outside the box use.
  2. I’m not saying she will ignore you, but, imagine, she has hundreds of “greetings” like this. What are the chances she’d like to answer all of them?

  3. Don’t allow the first message on dating sites to sound provocative. “I noticed your profile 5 years ago.” Some guys may think it is original and can emphasize their interest in the girl they noticed “long ago”. On the other hand, has she not found someone during these 5 years? Do you really think the reaction to these words will be positive? If I received such a “love introduction” I would not even bother to write back.
  4. Don’t make raunchy compliments. Ladies really like hearing good words; however, it’s VERY important to know what to say to reach the girl’s heart. “You are such a chick!”, “Where does such a beauty come from?”, or even “Wow, you have great buttocks!” are likely to cause the lady to roll her eyes rather than give you a smile.
  5. Don’t start with offering a rendezvous immediately. “Do you want to see me?” is unlikely the best first message for online dating. Of course, you have to see each other offline, still, having seen an invitation to meet from a stranger, no woman will agree. What she can do is ignore you or even get scared of your persistence.
  6. Don’t ask too personal questions. “Why are you still alone?”, “Where exactly do you live?”, or “Tell about your first sex” is not what you should ask a person you hardly know first of all because it is rude. Secondly, you could touch on a sensitive topic and spoil the lady’s mood.

REMEMBER! Don’t write a long text. The best introduction message for online dating is far from describing your life in detail or asking tons of questions as if you are going to write the girl’s biography. It looks a bit too weird.

Now that you know what isn’t acceptable, let’s consider the best online dating opening lines. Go through our 5 DOs, which could help you start the conversation.

  1. Do start with a joke. If you manage to make her smile with the initial lines of your writing, the lady is likely to reply. However, you must be careful as it is not always that your anecdote or joke could work. Here are some ideas to help you:
    • “So, your initial wish is fulfilled, and I am here. What will be your two remaining desires?”;
    • “I love that you have two eyes. When there are more of them, it is no longer quite my taste. And you are just perfect.”;
    • “Anyone can be just cool, but your coolness is the result of long training. Am I right?”

  2. Do attract her attention. Having a number of rivals, the key to success is to make a difference. This can be done in several ways.
  3. The easiest one is to attach a funny GIF to your text. Still, it has to be really nice and fresh, so do not be lazy to spend some time searching.

    Another way is to use an unusual but pleasant word in the beginning. For example:

    Tiramisu. Now I am sure you are reading my text, so I want to say hi! By the way, is there anything tastier in our world? What do you think? “

    “Banana Milkshake or Strawberry Milkshake? Without your help, I will probably never choose. “

  4. How to impress a girl in the first message? Do use personal facts. You could find a lot of examples of what to include in your letter prepared beforehand. Still, using some information you have learned from the girl’s profile, showing the text is especially for her, she will be content you took the time to read her profile and she attracted you not only as a beauty but also as a person.
    • “You surf, fly in a hot air balloon, and jump with a parachute. I wonder, with such an amazing list of hobbies, is there anything else you really want to try?”;
    • “Your profile says you hope to find a person with whom you want to communicate for more than half an hour … Let’s set the timer or vice versa – forget about the time?”

  5. Do outline mutual interests. Of all the points people love discussing, hobbies are perhaps one of the most favored. Therefore, if having looked at the pictures in her profile, you find you share a hobby, be sure to start with it as it’s exactly what to say to a woman online dating!
    • “I see you’ve been to Egypt too. What was the most memorable for you – riding a bike, diving, or kiting? “
    • “Rafting is something! Did you also do the “butterfly” element? “

  6. Do be creative. Again: your task is to stand out from the crowd. Therefore, do not be lazy and do not be afraid to experiment. To do this, you need to change your approach – stop perceiving the initial letter as an “obligation” and play the investigator-experimenter, creating your own, and unique ways of communication.

Lastly: check what you have written. How to reply to online dating messages full of grammar mistakes or the ones in which some of the words have been missed out? Therefore, take your time and carefully read your text before sending it in order to correct it if necessary.

PS. Keep in mind all girls are completely different, and there is no guarantee the phrases from our examples will provide you with HER answer. However, it will be much easier to start a dialogue with their help. Good luck!

Valeria Matskevich with Love.