Lets start with defining who these gold-diggers are. The first thing that Google suggests you to check out is the Kanye West song. We won’t concentrate on this though. Wikipedia define “gold digging” as engaging in romantic relationships for money rather than love. Let’s try to get to the bottom of the “gold digging” phenomenon and try to find out if cash creates strong relationship that can lead to a healthy happy marriage.
From time to time during the first interviews with my potential male clients they claim they have faced and suffered from Ukrainian gold-diggers. I would say that in 50% of such cases gold digging was not the case. One gentleman shared a “really sad” story with me. He was corresponding with the lady at a free dating site for several months, but when he finally has travelled to meet with her in Kiev, Ukraine he had to face a huge disappointment. His date did show up to their dinner date and she looked exactly like her photos. He even said that she was more beautiful in person. They had a dinner, but the next day when he has asked her out again she has texted him back that unfortunately she didn’t feel any chemistry the previous night so she didn’t want to waste his or her time and meet again. The gentleman told me he has met one of Ukrainian gold-diggers, but did he really? Perhaps she just didn’t like him in person as much as she liked him while corresponding or she didn’t get his jokes during the date. Anyway, for sure it is not right to put her in the list of Ukrainian gold-diggers.
How to understand that you have met one of Ukrainian gold-diggers?
What to expect while dating one?
First of all it is important to understand the difference between Ukrainian gold-diggers and scammers. Scammers want to get quick advantage from their victim and are not planning to really get involved into serious relationship. Some of them can already be in relationship and even married. Their goal is to deceive and get materialistic advantage of other people. Ukrainian gold-diggers as any other female gold-diggers on the contrary are looking for serious relationship that can guarantee long-terms materialistic advantages and benefits. If one man can’t fulfil materialistic expectations of a gold-digger she can start looking for a more well-off man or for an extra admire. Unlike scammers Ukrainian gold-diggers do get married if they meet a man who reaches all their expectations. To be honest I personally know pretty many couples that were built more on cold calculation than on passionate feelings: ladies were attracted to the way of life the gentlemen could provide for them and gentlemen have chosen those ladies solely on their model looks and young age. The marriages are strong and happy because both parties receive exactly what they have expected and what they really wanted.
But how to avoid Ukrainian gold-diggers? What to do if you don’t want to attract one?
Good news: if you are not well-off you won’t be at the radar of real Ukrainian gold-diggers. Contrary to the popular myth Ukrainian gold-diggers do not go out just to be fed or visit a fancy place (unless she is 18 years old and has just started her “gold-digging career”). She won’t go out with you just to get a bouquet of flowers. She can even suggest to split the bill in the restaurant or to get the plane tickets on her own cost if you are planning a first vacation together. Gold-diggers think long-term. If she sees that you meet all her financial and other expectations and you are a perfect boyfriend or husband material she will develop a long-term strategy how to win you over and become your exclusive girlfriend, fiancée and wife. In her mind she has already calculated all the future advantages and benefits from relationship with you: she wants to live in Manhattan, New York, drive a Porsche, dress at Prada, send your future kids to private schools and expensive colleges and start her own fashion business. To achieve these final goals she won’t mind splitting the bills at first dates, pay for her own tickets and never ask for presents. She knows how to be patient and where her strategy can take her. If you are not rich Ukrainian gold-diggers have no reasons to bother with you.
How to identify Ukrainian gold-diggers? Such ladies are usually young, really beautiful and pretty often well educated. They speak English and are well-travelled. Such ladies invest a lot into their looks because they understand perfectly well that looks and youth are their strongest assets – their golden ticket to the life they want to have. Ukrainian gold-diggers often don’t mind dating older gentlemen.
The risk to attract a lady who would be interested in the income of the gentleman more than in his achievements in golf or interest in poetry increases if the gentleman choses to date a much younger lady. The bigger the age gap is the stronger the chances are that the lady is actually attracted to everything this relationship can give her. Pretty often gentlemen who date much younger ladies claim that they actually don’t give them expensive gifts. They claim the ladies never ask for such gifts. In their mind this fact solely means such ladies are not Ukrainian gold-diggers. As I have mentioned earlier in this article Ukrainian gold-diggers play long-term: it is not about asking for a Chanel purse, but about having a certain lifestyle. For example, a goal of such a lady is to travel with the gentleman, dine at fancy places, fly in business class and meet other successful people. She will get her Chanel purse somewhere in between their vacations. Can you call such a lady a real gold-digger? Yes, probably. Would she date the gentleman if he couldn’t provide her with a certain lifestyle? No, probably.
If you want to avoid meeting a lady with high materialistic expectations regarding the gentleman the easiest and the most logical in my humble opinion way would be hiring a professional matchmaker. In this case vetting out Ukrainian gold-diggers won’t be your headache anymore but the responsibility of a professional matchmaker. My other advice would be not looking for a much younger lady. If the age gap is bigger than 10 years you risk attracting a scammer or a gold-digger.
Dating out of your league is also risky: she has model looks, is never married, has no kids, speaks English, has Master’s Degree in Law and is 26 years old then why on Earth would she be interested in a 50 years old divorced father of 3 kids?
Pretty often gentlemen who choose their “soul mates” solely by physical standards (blue eyes, 52 kilos, blond hair, long legs) attract Ukrainian gold-diggers who have their own criteria regarding a man: certain level of income, big house, boat, Porsche and of course “big loving heart”.
How to avoid Ukrainian gold-diggers? First of all you have to be realistic about your expectations and sincere with yourself about your goals and looking-for. You want to have a much younger trophy wife who would be more beautiful than all your ex-girlfriends and wives of all your friends? You want to meet a woman who is ok with the fact that you have been married for several times, have 4 kids, 3 grandkids and 30 extra kilos? You don’t mind compensating the fact that you are 20 years older with financial stability, memberships at numerous fancy clubs and summerhouse in Miami then of course dating Ukrainian gold-diggers who are really hot and beautiful might be a great solution. She will offer you her looks and youth in return. If such a scenario doesn’t sound too appealing to you then you have to consider your other strengths and their appeal to the ladies: you are serious and family oriented – you can attract a beautiful single Ukrainian mother 5 or 7 years younger than you are; you play the piano and violin – for sure you can attract a cute music teacher about your age who of course won’t have the looks of Ukrainian gold-diggers because she never made similar investments into her looks and never has considered her body her biggest asset.
It is always up to you to choose which the direction in dating to take. My main advice would be: be sincere with yourself about who you are and what you really want and need; think with your heart and with your head; always be a gentleman and treat your dates with respect; step out of your comfort zone and expand the borders of your search including your search requests; give yourself a chance to meet someone awesome despite the fact she is three years older/younger than the “perfect age” you believe your date should be or 5 kilos slimmer/curvier – there is no such thing as perfection when it comes to humans!
I wish you all strong mutual love and save efficient dating. If you have any questions regarding Ukrainian gold-diggers please feel free to leave the comment below. Your feedback is always cherished and welcomed.
Svetlana Mukha, with love