From our article about Ukrainian family structure, you have already learnt that a Ukrainian family has its own peculiarities. Still, we did not mention anything about the relationship between a son-in-law and a mother-in-law. In Ukraine it is thought that they never get on well and there are many jokes on that topic. Why is it so? Every mother is always worried about her child, so mother-in-law often sees her daughter’s husband as the person, who creates problems, what is more, her constant intrusion in her daughter’s family life and giving unnecessary advice can lead to quarrels.
How to behave with mother-in-law so that everyone could live in peace and quiet? We will try to help you with our tips.
To begin with, let us look at what types of mothers-in-law there exist:
- Watcher. She usually only observes, hardly ever gives advice, and when you make a mistake, starts criticizing. If you ask why she did not help, she answers that you know everything yourself.
- Executive. She still sees her daughter as a little girl and knows what exactly her child and her husband need. Executive mother-in-law is ready to help with everything from cooking to looking after children. However, you must not relax and forget that you must also take decisions and responsibility for your life.
- Victim. She is always offended. She will always make you feel sorry for what you have done to her even if you haven’t. By doing so, she will get what she wants and say that she does not need it, making you feel confused and annoyed.
- Sticky mother-in-law. She is everywhere. She loves her son-in-law and wants to help him with everything. However, if he says he does not need her help, she turns into his enemy. Another danger is to become her best friend and together teach his wife how to behave. Such friendship can cause great troubles, so it is advisable not to let your mother-in-law do the house chores for you, and NEVER talk about your wife’s faults.
Still, no matter what kind of a mother-in-law you have, always remember, that she has given birth to the woman you love and deserves respect. And even if you do not get on very well, try to find a compromise. It is also not necessary to become her friend, just be good to her as to any other person and follow the next advice, and your mother-in-law will definitely appreciate it.
- Remember that all elderly people are sensitive and really dislike impoliteness and carelessness. They need attention, the absence of which equals to your being arrogant. Therefore it will be good to make a small present for your mother-in-law once a month and visit her at least once a week.
- Do not forget her birthday, as well as your wife’s birthday and other important dates. As you can guess, it is directly linked to respect and attention.
- Do not say bad things about your mother-in-law behind her back. Your children do not need to know that their granny «is crazy» (even if it is really so).
- Do not remind her of her age, or say that she can do only the house chores, etc. Still, offer her your help and care as often as possible.
- Finally, praise the food she cooks, her daughter, her attention. Do not criticize or gossip. Remember that you are a man and you must be polite and calm. We believe in you. Good luck.