How to Find the Right Person for Love after the quarantine.
Many of us especially after the lockdown crave finding the special person who will cherish, support, inspire, who will share our feelings and make out life better, brighter, more meaningful. Seating at home alone in the company of a TV and an iPad it is not hard to realize this is not how you define happiness. We are always busy with new projects, business, career, friends, hobbies, and fears. We calm ourselves with the idea we will find the time and make our personal life a priority next autumn, after the Christmas holidays or in a year. The time never seems to be perfect and we got distracted. Do we even need to change our single status? Perhaps it is not for you?
Many of us still wonder what is love and how to build a healthy relationship to feel finally happy and relaxed. Some people have said the three important words so many times to different people, have experienced numerous heartbreaks and disappointments but still have no doubts they are experts when it comes to finding that person. In their mind it was not because of them and their choices it always was caused by some unpredictable reasons: it just turned out she wanted to focus on her career and never wanted to have children, or she never really believe in official marriage while this is what you always wanted, she wanted to relocate to London while you prefer your small town in the USA.
Of course, if you made some not really smart choices with your ex-partners or perhaps you were not thinking with your head when you have chosen those partners it doesn’t mean real feelings are foreign to you. Perhaps you have actually learned on your past attempts to attract someone special in your life. Or maybe you haven’t learned at all.
The search for the right woman or man can be an exciting or exhausting process. If you look for a serious romantic relationship with someone exotic who represents another culture, for example, you seem to be attracted to Slavic ladies, then this process can appear even more complex.
So, what is the smart way to start?
It is vitally important to concentrate on your long-term goals and to be completely honest with yourself. Physical attraction and common interests and hobbies are important – but they can’t be the main things you pay attention to. Finding the love of your life, first of all, means choosing the man or a woman with a similar understanding of love, family, commitment, willingness to have or not to have kids, similar understanding to gender roles, money, religion, politics. While many singles unfortunately concentrate on chasing someone with the perfect shade of blue eyes or the Greek nose. If you were to spend 8 weeks together non-stop in one apartment would you really care about the shape of her nose or about her drama-free personality, feelings to you, and capability to compromise?
There are so many books, blogs, and articles with dating tips and advice about first dates, flirt, and even pick-up lines that having real romance seems to be more complicated than getting a master’s in physics. In a way, it truly can be more complicated. Still, the biggest problems appear while singles confuse physical attraction, popular opinions, and glamorized Instagram photos with reality. Why do they want to have someone in their life? Why they don’t want to be single? Do they dream about a house with a white fence, laughing kids, and a smiling happy woman that loves and understands them for who they are? And how exactly this dream relates to the exact eyes and hair color, bra size, or astrological sign? Does it matter if she is 35 or 42 years old when she can help you fulfill the picture of the cozy home with the white fence?
People complicate their search by trying to reach unrealistic TV or Instagram standards without giving any actual thought if they actually need it and why. You want to have a healthy sincere love of a special woman and then you complicate this wish by insisting she must be 30 years younger and way hotter than Melania Trump. Is it just a whim, a fantasy, or a real need that aligns with your long-term goals? is it about your heart and soul or simply your swollen ego?
A true understanding of your needs is important. Being choosey means paying attention to all the important qualities of a woman, her dreams, and her unique needs. It is never about the age gap, hair color, or lengths of her legs. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Be smart about your wishes and dream both with your heart and with your head! Real mutual care and affection are worth the search!