Is Jealousy Healthy in a Relationship
Would you confess to being green with envy when you find your partner staring at a sexy girl? Or maybe when she regularly receives compliments from hot men? Opinions whether jealousy is acceptable and a healthy practice in a relationship or its displays is the first sign of your onward love destruction have remarkably separated. But, claiming that this feeling is peculiar to domestic abusers would be just as unfair as assuming that it can always be justified. So, we propose to look from different angles.
Why do we get jealous? The main source where envy generally comes from is fear, or to be more precise, resentment that your partner treats others with more attention than you. It doesn’t mean, however, he or she has lost the old flame and you are not an apple of their eye anymore. Although sometimes concerns may be unreasonable, in particular cases it is worth giving a closer look into the problem.
If you consider your partner a reliable person who would never cheat on you, then temporary jealousy is ok. You heard right, it’s well and it won’t harm either you or the one you love. Furthermore, within the normal range, it could even strengthen your relationship, since you demonstrate how valuable their feelings are to you and that you are truly afraid to lose your partner. Again, if jealousy is merely detected at your partner’s side, there is no better confirmation of him being head over heels in love or of her not acting yet indifferent towards you and still having the same warm affection. It evokes a sense of competition where your attention is the winner’s reward. Deep down all of us would overflow with happiness. But don’t intentionally take advantage of the partner, otherwise, your trick will turn against you and shatter your partner’s faith, provoking constant disagreements that could lead to a split up or even worse, a divorce.
By contrast, our subconscious wouldn’t search for a possible catch unless we give rise to doubts. Most men and women don’t realize that they are the ones to ruin the relationship just because of a paranoic behavior and persistent interrogations like ‘who is she?’, ‘are you flirting behind my back?’ and so on. No one is going to put up with such annoying questions every time you deal with the opposite sex or simply express your admiration. Keeping a person under a rigorous control is not a solution to maintain a cordial relationship; this might only trigger an ‘escape’ reaction instead. If you did notice a suspicious gesture, gain the courage to bring up the subject with your partner and clarify what serves as a point for worrying rather than giving ridiculous restrictions. Watch for your tone and don’t let sudden emotional outbursts occur in the conversation.
One thing when minor splashes of envy consolidate your bonds, another thing when they grow into mistrust and suspicion. Most frequently huge rows appear on a basis of insecurity in your boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s loyalty. If your partner prefers hanging around with comrades for hours and often goes missing somewhere in pubs without any explanation it is high time to ponder over a breakup. Of course, you are not supposed to be the epicenter of attention and there is nothing wrong about recharging batteries with your buddies, but you also deserve to be treated respectfully. Do you need a person capable of betrayal who would continuously try your patience? Obviously, not.
Little jealousy will always be present in a strong relationship, so don’t jump to the early conclusions that your partner doesn’t appreciate you enough nor has someone else in mind. Accumulating offense inside, you will only become completely obsessed with negative thoughts. The best way to handle jealousy is to turn its stream into an encouragement to strive for self-improvement. As it was already mentioned, don’t be reluctant to talk through this topic with your partner in a calm manner and share a willingness to be more involved in their pastime.
Fortunately or not, jealousy is an inevitable part of our life and you will not be able to get rid of it just with the twist of a snapper. Despite putting too much pressure, it adds dynamic to couple relationships, brings a comprehension of how fragile love is and how much long bilateral work it requires.