So one perfect evening while spending another hour in the internet wearing your pyjama and having a glass of wine or diet cola you have decided to change your single status and to finally bring love into your life. The first thing that comes in mind is a dating site. It looks so easy – all you have to do is register and add a picture and after that start choosing potential best half.
It all looks so easy but there is always an “if”, isn’t it?
Why do some people succeed while dating on-line and other don’t?
Let’s talk about 10 most common mistakes while dating on-line.
Mistake number 1
Bad pictures. First thing that your potential best half will see is your picture. Guys, this is a total myth that looks is not important to the ladies. It definitely matters! If the lady doesn’t like your photo she won’t feel attracted to your profile and won’t try to flirt with you while corresponding or chatting.
If you are looking for serious relationship and not just casual flirt then this article is for you.
Have some trust in my 10 years of experience as a matchmaker!
No group photos! Nobody wants to be guessing if this is you or maybe that bold guy is you, or perhaps this lady you are hugging at the picture is your ex girlfriend or sister. If she can’t understand who you are at the picture she will turn her attention to another profile.
No photos in silly costumes taken last Halloween or Christmas. Even if this sweater with a showman was a present of your grandmother – don’t use this photo at the dating site.
No photos from passport, driving license other document where you look severe and serious like a serial killer. Guys, such photos are just creepy and will scare all the beautiful ladies away.
No bathroom photos. Even if you spend 5 days per week in gym and you want to show your perfect 6 pack abs don’t take pictures at your bathroom mirror wearing just a towel. It is a turn off for serious ladies. Or do you want to be just a man candy?
No naked photos. No comments about this.
No old pictures that show data when it was taken. Really? You assume ladies won’t understand that you have changed since the photo was taken?
No pictures taken next to your fancy car, yacht, house. You don’t want to attract a gold digger, do you?
No pictures in caps, hats and sunglasses. You don’t want to make her feel like you are hiding something.
No pictures in T-shirts saying you are “boobs lover”, “sexy cowboy”, “naughty boy”.
Mistake number 2
Not enough information or very formal information about yourself.
Ask yourself a question – what information about the lady you want to know before contacting her at the dating site? For sure you want to know how old is she? Does she have children? How tall is she? What is her profession? Or maybe more specific questions. For example, does she speak English? Is she open to relocate if she meets Mr. Right? Does she like cats, etc. We all don’t like wasting our time and being disappointed. So if you have “forgotten” to mention that you have 3 children from the previous marriage and after two month of correspondence you finally share this information and she stops corresponding with you, well, don’t blame her.
Mistake number 3
Too much information about yourself. Have you ever found profiles at dating sites that start with the words I was born in 1970… and 15 lines after the author continues saying he went to school in 1977 and his first teacher’s name was Anna. Did you ever read such profiles till the end? Do you honestly believe that a person that doesn’t know you yet – a stranger – is interested to know about all your relatives and favorite football players?
Mistake number 4
False information. Lies. We all want to be the better version of ourselves in our Facebook, LinkedIn, dating profiles. So we do not post pictures taken during hangovers, bad hair days, etc. However, sometimes people take it too far. It is not a crime to describe yourself as a funny easy-going person. Who can prove you are not? Perhaps their sense of humor sucks and not yours. However if you claim you are 188 centimeters tall and in real life you are 170 tall then this lie will be caught once the lady meets you in person. Just imagine – she is wearing her highest heels expecting to meet a really tall guy and at the date both of you feel uncomfortable while you barely reach her shoulder. Another example – you have mentioned that you love playing tennis though you have tried to play it only once. You meet the lady who really loves playing tennis and this game is really important to her so during the date she assumes you have this hobby in common. But after five minutes she realizes you were not honest with her. Her next thought will be “what else did he lie me about”?
Mistake number 5
Too much sexual information about you in the profile. If you are at the specific sexual site, well, maybe this will help you. However, if you are at the dating site where people are looking for their best half this can be a reason why many ladies will avoid your profile. So guys, just avoid descriptions like “I love sex”, “I love big breast”, “I want to have sex three times per day”. If you use the matchmaking service though you should mention this to your matchmaker BUT of course your matchmaker won’t put this information to your profile because it will scare away all decent potential matches.
Mistake number 6
Speaking about your ex girlfriend or wife. I have even seen profiles where guys have posted pictures with their ex wives and girlfriends. Why? Is it the way to show – look my ex was really hot? For the ladies it will be a big red flag – he is not over his ex – avoid. Do you want this reaction? No. This is a very common mistake and I hope you won’t do it.
Mistake number 7
Bad grammar and too much slang. If you are using an international dating site, you should understand that the ladies you are talking to are not native English speakers. Even if they speak decent English for sure they do not know slang. So try to avoid such expressions as LOL, OMG or take time to explain the meaning. If you have written the word incorrectly it will be hard for her to find it in the dictionary, which will lead to numerous misunderstandings.
Mistake number 8
Avoid money topic. Money is important but don’t make it a number one topic. She doesn’t have to know that this shirt at your photo that she has just complimented you got with a 70% discount. If you are lucky enough and one day she will become your wife she will be hunting sales together with you, but while you are still at the romantic stage of “flowers and candies” or even more you have just started to correspond at the dating site – money topic is a huge No-No. We have asked ladies at our matchmaking agency diolli.com what annoys them most while dating – and most of them has responded “cheap men”. These ladies were not gold diggers or too materialistic creatures but it really kills the romance when the guy constantly repeats, that it is expensive to buy her flowers, or travel to see her or go out with her. She is an adult and she knows that it is not cheap to fly from Australia to Ukraine, but hearing you saying it out loud again and again makes her feel uncomfortable, as if it is her fault that the tickets are so expensive. The lady starts having doubts about you: if you complain so much about tickets, what will happen if she gets sick and need some pills or if you have kids. Will you assume that kids are too expensive? So, guys, don’t be a party killer and do not kill the romance and good impression sounding like Scrooge McDuck. She doesn’t complain to you how much she has spent on her nails and hair to look good for you, does she?
Mistake number 9
No “I love you” before you have met in person. If you haven’t met in person yet then you don’t really know her yet and she doesn’t know you. So if in the first letter you write her – “I love you. Marry me” – well, you can hope she will consider it to be joke. Otherwise she will find you creepy and strange.
Mistake number 10
Baby, dear, princess, pussycat words. Do you like spam? Do you like when you receive emails from cats’ shops and you don’t event have a cat and never actually had one? Well, phrases like “My dear baby-doll” and “Princess, baby beauty queen” will make her feel the same, because she has already received and will receive hundreds of them. Most of the ladies won’t even bother to read your message till the end if it starts with such spam pick-up words. Be original, call her by name and compliment her with a personal witty compliment. She will appreciate it for sure.
Svetlana Mukha, with love