It sometimes happens that during the first date silence appears and lasts for quite a long time. If this painful silence lasts for too long, it can even spoil your date, the girl will be offended and leave. Not to face this problem you must remember a couple of methods to avoid pauses and break the silence during the date.
So, how can you avoid pauses?
While preparing for the date you are usually nervous and have a lot of ideas on what to talk about with the girl, whether the jokes you want to tell will be appropriate or not. If you start thinking about it during the date, you can face the painful silence, which you can break with the following methods you will need to recall at that moment.
Until you get to know your girl quite well, it is not worth discussing topics which can lead to an argument between you. It is better not to talk about politics, finances or health, since you do not know what the girl may think about that. It can be so that she or her relatives have health problems and you will touch her on the raw. To avoid pauses in conversation do not begin useless arguments, which are even worse than silence itself.
If you feel that you have touched the girl on the raw, stop and step back. Change the subject of the conversation and look at her reaction. Offer her any light topic to discuss. Still, keep in mind that it is not a good idea to discuss your date’s past, as you can touch her “wound” again, especially if it is connected with the break-up with her ex-boyfriend, or misunderstanding with parents. Such questions can cause painful silence.
If you feel, that your lady is trying to escape talks about her past, switch to yourself and tell some funny and interesting story from your life. However, do not get carried away with the story and laugh too loudly, especially if you notice that the girl does not seem to be interested in your narration. Not to make your story and your date a burden for her, be tactful and try to find the topic which your girl will be keen on discussing.
In case the conversation suddenly stops, and you feel confused about that, to avoid the pause, admit that you feel uncomfortable, offer to go to another place or make her a compliment. Your admitting the awkwardness of the whole situation will show the girl that you are honest and you will win her over, especially if you say something good about her.
To avoid pauses you can ask the girl about her friends or relatives. In this case she will feel relaxed telling you about them. Be always attentive while listening, which the girl will like. Moreover, the information you will hear may come in handy in the future, since you will learn more about HER and her interests. If you are not interested, do not show it and try to change the topic instead.
It is good to start talking about travelling, ask where she has been and when she has finished, go on to tell her about your adventures in a faraway country. Talk only about interesting and positive situations that you have experienced. If you understand that the girl has nothing more to tell, ask her where she would like to travel to.
Ask the girl about her personal achievements in life and she will gladly tell you about them. The topic considering job career is always actual and anyone will always have something to tell about colleagues, the boss, funny occasions at work.
In case she does not want to discuss her work, ask her about something you have learnt about her from other people. For example, you have been told that she is a good cook, so ask her how she makes her special meat pie, how she learned to do it and ask to share the recipe.
The most neutral topic is leisure activities. In a short period of time you will learn what the girl likes doing in her free time, and if it is a good idea to ask her out to the theatre or a picnic in the countryside. This topic can be used more than once to avoid pauses. To break the silence you can offer to do something together: if you are in a restaurant, ask her to dance; if you are in the park, go and buy some ice-cream together. If nothing helps, choose the last method. If the girl is too shy, a couple of cocktails can make her a good interlocutor.
Now that you know what to do to avoid pauses and how to break the silence, but non of the methods works, think of looking for another companion, who will share your interests.