The 5 Love Lessons You Learn From Being Single
To be single is not something that needs to be cured, it is a self-discovery period of life that each person has to go through in order to be happy. Use it to learn many useful lessons. It is a widespread idea that we have a second half somewhere in the world, wandering to see us at the magic moment. This message is pushed to many people, that’s why when they encounter some problems, they just think it is because they haven`t found a partner yet. But it is just an assumption.
The truth about being single is to understand what you want.
What`s wrong with being single? Absolutely nothing. It is time to discover pleasures.
How to work on yourself while single?
- Find a new hobby. You have free time to devote it to what brings a real pleasure. Maybe you have always dreamt about professional horse-riding, enroll in a class. It is a good way to connect with nature. Or any other hobby, gym, painting or weight-lifting.
- Get pleasure. Is it normal to like being single? Definitely it is. Try new things in order to find what really attracts your heart.
- Go on a spontaneous trip. You don`t need to follow anyone`s schedule, go to the place, either in your home town or outside of the country, explore yourself in a different destination.
- If you have been thinking to change your career or take a course in something, go ahead. Don`t be afraid to experiment.
- Spend more quality time with friends, go out to the restaurants and bars, set on a trip.
- Read for self-development. Choose books, which really touch your heart and make you think. Either it is a good plot or some lessons you take from reading, it will contribute to self-growth. A book is always good food for your brain.
- Groom and treat yourself, change something in your appearance, a different haircut may change your style.
- Review the mistakes you did, forgive your ex partner.
How to feel better about being single? All doors are open for you and you are the only one who decides to knock or to open. Focus on positive things. Learn to embrace your own interests. Participate in volunteer work, enroll in some courses and meet new people. When you have learnt how to live alone and be comfortable, you may start a new relationship.
My friend Olya after a painful break up, didn`t believe that she can be happy again, especially by herself. She couldn`t imagine her life without a partner, because she believed that only in a couple people smile, travel and live. But life didn`t stop after this. Step by step she explored her own self without a partner, at first it felt weird. I remember her calling me and saying:” You know, today I chose a dress I really wanted and I enjoyed a walk in the park by myself, and by the way I was hesitating which flavor of ice-cream I truly prefer, because before I automatically was choosing cherry flavor because it is my boyfriend`s favourite one and he never actually asked me”. I told her: “So, now you are the only person who decides in your own life starting from ice-cream flavor finishing your dreams and goals” She said: “Finally I have time to discover myself”. This story teaches us that before you involve other person in your life, be happy by yourself. Find out your favourite colour, food and travel destination. Sounds so simple? Maybe. But some people still hesitate about answers no matter how old they are.
How to make yourself happy in relationship? Don`t be dependent. All forms of dependency is a sign of insecurity and emotional instability, relationship is not connected with depending on another person, it is a feeling of happiness while together with a partner and complete on your own. Don`t expect another person to give emotional, financial and physical support in everything. Love grows in freedom.
What lessons about love can you learn from being by yourself?
- Your beloved one is not the source of happiness and the meaning of existence.
- You are secure on your own and in a couple.
- You can commit and have freedom at the same time.
- You know how to accept other people`s flaws and you are tolerant.
- Developing common sense. It is important both for singles and people in relationship.
In order someone to love you, you should learn to love yourself.