The 7 Most Important Talks For a Great Sex Life
Do you often have conversations about sex with your intimate partner? Do you argue in your relationship? Is there an ongoing problem, which keeps coming up in the process and makes your more or less healthy sex life unsteady or even worse? To tell the truth, having disagreements is a common issue, so there’s nothing to be alarmed about. Furthermore, when it comes to some tips on how to make your sex talk with your partner as helpful, productive and enjoyable as you can, what should be mentioned is the lack of communication skills due to loads of stereotypes and myths. On the other hand, mindful sexual topics for deeper connections seem to be an effective way to foster meaningful discussions with your significant other.
Unfortunately, a lot of people strongly believe it should be understandable without explanations how to have a better experience or to lead a great sex life. It should be spontaneous and natural. Sometimes we feel awkward and unprepared in the context of our physical relationship.
The key is to learn to talk in a positive and supportive manner. As a result, all the barriers might be successfully overcome. Let me eliminate commonly believed myths. Books and movies make us believe that fascinating intimacy happens naturally. However, I’m confident the foundation is collaboration and communication. Besides, every person is unique. I personally find that quite astonishing. We can’t read each other’s minds. Anyway, avoidance and defensiveness send a message to your better half, you’re not interested in their inner world, emotions and feelings.
What I’d like to offer is seven tips to make your sexual exploits turn into a productive talk to a woman.
1. Learning to relax yourself might be extremely helpful. If your conversation makes you disappointed, frustrated, anxious or angry, it’s time to learn to self-soothe. If you are nervous or scared, you are likely to say things you don’t mean. What should you do? Try to practice breathing. Breathing is at the core of becoming calm.
2. Being nonjudgmental is the key. Shut your critical and emotional mind off and really listen to what your lover is saying. Empathize by putting yourself in your soulmate’s shoes, if you need to.
3. Use positive I statements, being an active listener. It is also about remembering to avoid blaming, pointing the finger and criticizing. Instead tell them something honest about yourself. For instance, instead of saying, “You don’t even try to please me,” try: “I really feel frustrated with our love making these days.” Focus on using “I feel” and avoid using “you” in the sentence.
4. Employ active listening skills: summarize, paraphrase or repeat what your lover has said. It’s the easiest way to let them know you have heard them. If your beloved one says, “I am angry and frustrated these days, and you don’t seem to care about sex.” Instead of responding defensively, which might be your inkling, it’s a great opportunity for you to make the conversation productive. You can respond by saying, “It sounds like you are feeling dissatisfied with our sex life. Perhaps we could find a solution.”
5. Touch while talking. Holding your soulmate’s hand or putting your hand on their knee can remind your partner you are on their side, and you both are in this together. It promotes intimacy.
6. Provide compliments. Compliments are a big part of positive talk. It’s essential for our partners to feel recognized and appreciated. I recommend a minimum of three compliments a day. The best way to catch a bee is with sugar.
7. Avoid blaming language. Words “should” or “need to” sound like you know more than your better half, are judging their actions and giving advice. These types of statements can lead to feelings of resentment and power struggle. For example, “I’m never satisfied with you.” This may be true, but it creates defensiveness. Instead try, “I would like to find a way for us to be happier together.”