What are the 4 Stages of Marriage?
Scientists say that after marriage every couple goes through at least four different phases of relationship, which give unique opportunities to develop for both partners as well as tasks and problems to solve. It is also stated that one couple can go through phases of love in marriage more than once during their life learning not to make mistakes they have made before. Such a stage can be different for every couple: go at a different speed and contain a different set of tasks to cope with. It is necessary to remember that if a couple cannot overcome a problem at one stage, they
To help you clear out what the stages of marriage are and what you should do, we offer to read our “being married” guide, which will tell you about marriage stages of development as well as four stages of love.
This stage is characterized with such words as romance, passion, dreams. In the beginning of married life, newly-weds communicate quite easily. They feel each other’s needs and try to surprise their better half and make him/her like them. Partners do not see individual differences; they feel happy, excited and cheerful. They believe they can easily make their dreams come true and have limitless perspectives. They are engrossed in each other, the whole world doesn’t matter for them. They prefer spending time together everywhere, they are not familiar with all childhood stories, jokes and funny stories yet.
Even if they did they are more than happy to listen to them one more time. Everyone likes this honeymoon period and it is the most amazing time. “Love birds” enjoy each other`s presence with all the flaws and imperfections. You may recognize such couples, who are enjoying the honeymoon heaven by their gazes, the way they hold hands in the restaurants, buses, in the streets, as if they are afraid to lose each other even for a minute. They always laugh and have topics to talk about. I always get inspired by seeing such happy couples. In summer time I like sitting on the bench in the park, having my cappuccino and just admiring people who are in love.
If I was an artist, I would put their happy faces on the canvas or write a book with their conversations. They dream, they are careless and live in the moment. Does this stage of romance have an expiration date? Couples can keep romance throughout the whole life if they put enough efforts. Love can make wonders! I am sure you do have examples from your surroundings, who managed to do it. My grandparents are an example for me, my grandfather still makes her laugh and finds the way to express his love in a romantic way. I was so proud coming with him to the shop to choose a present for his wife. He approached the shop assistant and said: “ I need the best perfume for my love!’” He was 65 at that time and my grandmother was 60, it is really sweet. As they get older, they mostly spend time at home.
He used to be a seaman and he still has stories to tell her. Probably she already heard them a thousand of times, but she still finds them amusing. He listens to the radio news every morning and retells her about politics, economics and just general situation in the world while she prepares delicious food .I can say with no doubts, love never gets old! Every time they have a small argument, he says: “ I want a divorce. I think I will have lots of candidates at my age and laughs.” She has been replying for 50 years already that she sent an advertisement already to a local newspaper and he should wait for offers soon. It is their common joke to keep them entertained.
- One of the 4 stages of relationships is awareness and reality. This is where the storm of emotions is replaced by everyday routine. At this period, all couples learn to communicate, cooperate and compromise. That is why, the ability to listen to and hear the partner is very important. The differences, which the happy couples have not seen at the previous stage of relationship “uncover” and the partners need to find the way to come over possible disagreements. There is no perfect relationship and people have to compromise. But you should have a list of your deal-breakers before you even start any relationship, so that no one can cross your boundaries. You must not put up with such deal-breakers as dishonesty, abusive behavior and something that brings you emotional discomfort and makes you behave against your own values in life.
- Such words as individuality and “fight for power” can explain you the essence of this stage of married relationship. It is inevitable since sooner or later both partners can unintentionally disappoint each other by not coming to their expectations.
At this stage, personal differences can cause problems, that is why it is very important to use your skill to compromise. Partners also have to learn to control their anger, and come over hurt. This is where support from people outside the marriage becomes very important. Each person wants freedom and individual space and they MUST find the way to give it to each other and learn how to stay “You” and “Me” within “We” inside the marriage.
- The last one of the 4 stages of marriage can be described by the words openness, reconciliation and restart. The couple can get to this stage if they are honest and trust each other, which leads to a new, deeper feeling. They learn about their strengths and weaknesses, do not hide their fears, do not judge or blame each other. This is where mutual complaints turn into mutual requests. Partners accept each other the way they are with their good and bad sides, realizing their own ones, and learn to appreciate and respect in a new way. They stop taking each other for granted and find the new balance betwe
These are the main stages of marriage philosophy; however, life is an unexpected thing, so every couple can face some extra stages in their life and go through them together like a serious disease, financial problems (being out of wok), retirement or death of one of the partners, etc.
Be independent and keep your individuality while sharing your life with a partner. Do not expect someone to complete you. No matter how romantic it sounds in the movies, but it doesn’t fly in the real world. You should complement each other and create a great combination together. If your happiness depends on someone else, it makes you over-dependent on a partner. It is healthy to share common interests and goals as well as having individual hobbies. When people grow, their habits and interests change too. You should adapt to each other and learn to accept the changes. You cannot be the same person the whole life as well as your partner. You are a team and you should support each other in bad and good times.
Finally, we want you to remember that creating a family is a unique chance to understand the relationship between a man and a woman, who can make a strong team. Marriage cycle of life is a long game, which will bring you both winning and failure moments. That is why, you must never forget that family life does not consist only of a union of two loving hearts and a perfect wedding, it includes support, compassion, growing together. One of my female acquaintance got married just because of a fairytale wedding, which she has been dreaming about all her life.
Probably she has been watching lots of romantic movies, where a beautiful bride walks down the aisle in a gorgeous dress, after the ceremony they celebrate their wedding in a palace with thousands of guests, who wish them a long happy life, then they have a honeymoon somewhere in Maldives, and after they have beautiful children and live happily and die in one day. In reality she had the same luxurious wedding celebration with lots of guests, perfect white dress and a honeymoon. But married life is not piece of cake and when she encountered the first misunderstanding, she wanted to divorce. Marriage is a responsibility, devotion, commitment, compromise, ups and downs.