What to do if you didn’t succeed with a girl during your first visit to Ukraine?

As a professional matchmaker who counts professional success in the number of happy relationships that were created with the help of our team of cupids of course I prefer it when a client travels to Ukraine and hits it off with the first lady we introduce him to.

This scenario always makes my job so much easier and saves lots of time and energy and prevents lots of not always pleasant interviews with too emotional potential female candidates. Unfortunately this scenario is really rare and not too realistic. Of course you can try to blame the matchmaker, claiming the matchmaker should find the perfect match right from the first attempt.

I always tell my clients that matchmaking is a process and the process itself is as important as the successful result.

So often when a gentleman decides that dating a Ukrainian girl is a great option for him he doesn’t fully understands what to expect. Pretty often foreign gentlemen believe that dating a Ukrainian girl equals being unreasonably choosy.

At Diolli.com we strongly believe that our clients have the right and should actually choose among the best, so we really encourage them to be choosy.

But what does being choosy or picky actually mean?

When a gentleman decides that dating a Ukrainian girl is something he really wants and needs he should really choose the most efficient and less stressful way to do this. For many gentlemen the question of time is vitally important. They want to use their time efficiently and not to waste it for endless empty dates that lead to nothing and leave them emotionally drained. It is the obligation of a client to be choosy while he chooses a dating service or a free dating site. If he chooses a dating service with no website and no real name just because this company offers for example the cheapest service or promises endless choice of something that is too good to be true, then you can hardly call this gentleman choosey. He settles for something cheap and neglects quality. He feels too greedy or doesn’t find it necessary to actually invest into the search of his best half. Of course such actions will influence the final result.

This reminds me of an acquaintance of mine who for 8 years already wants to lose weight and get the perfect body like fitness models from Instagram. She knows what she wants so why can’t she get it? If she believes that getting a perfect body can make her truly happy so for sure she deserves it. Everyone deserves happiness, doesn’t he?

The biggest issue of this girl is the fact she is not actually consistent and persistent in her attempts! For months she felt reluctant to go to gym, because “you can get all fitness advice for free on YouTube”. When she finally has invested into her gym membership she has realized she had no clue how to work out. Instead of hiring a personal trainer or joining some group trainings she has decided not to go to gym.

Then her friend has boasted about a great nutritionist who creates a special individual menu for every client so my acquaintance has decided that it would be so much easier and less stressful to control what you eat and to skip sport. Again she felt reluctant to pay for the individual menu and has decided to try to eat just like her friend who actually paid for consultations with nutritionist. Of course, the diet was not working, because her friend had another body type and life style and to be honest our girl has often cheated her diet.  After a year of gaining weight and getting even more out of shape this girl has decided to pay a nutritionist and to try to eat healthy. It turned out that eating healthy was way more complicated and expensive: you have to buy fruits, vegetables, fish and natural food. You can’t eat junk-food or drink Coca-Cola.

To make the story short this girl didn’t get the body she wanted and ended up being bitter and unhappy: she didn’t like herself and it was not a surprise that nobody wanted dating a Ukrainian girl like that so she was single and felt miserable.

If you believe that dating a Ukrainian girl is your priority you should start with questioning yourself about your true reasons to want a Ukrainian girl by your side. Are you really ready to start international dating? Are you familiar with all pros and cons? If you have been honest with yourself and you understand why dating a Ukrainian girl is something you want to do then you should invest some time into researching the best ways to achieve your goal. Will you try online dating or probably you will just travel to Ukraine and go out there? Why this exact method? It is important to keep in mind that it can take you a few attempts to succeed. How many attempts did it take you to find your first girlfriend? Did she turn out to be the love of your life? Very few people ended up being happily married for years with their first crush, so why do you think that the first Ukrainian girl you start dating will be the one? Think of the girl who wanted to become a fitness model, but was doing it all the wrong way. Why hasn’t she doubted her methods if after months or years of doing it her way it was still not working? Probably your attempts to find a sweet, romantic, down to earth traditional Ukrainian girl at the online catalogue of girls in bikini are as realistic as the idea to loose weight by eating at McDonald’s.

If your first attempt of dating a Ukrainian girl was not successful, probably you have chosen the wrong person, which happens quite often in local dating as well, or perhaps your method of search was wrong.

If you keep trying to meet someone in Ukraine, but end up empty-handed and pretty often brokenhearted you should ask yourself 3 questions:

  1. What result do I want to achieve?
  2. Am I choosing the right type of people? Why I choose or attract this type of people?
  3. Is my dating strategy the right one?

Keep in kind that there are good and bad people in every culture and the number of good people exceeds greatly the number of bad people. Also not all people who do not like you back for whatever reason are bad or evil. There are right people for you and wrong people for you. If you constantly attract “wrong people” and relationship with them leaves you heartbroken and feeling empty question yourself – why have you attracted and chosen this person. Try to change your dating strategy, stop believing that you “know it all”. You can also always get professional assistance by hiring a professional matchmaker, dating coach or maybe even a psychologist.

I wish everyone who is searching to meet and start dating a Ukrainian girl who is truly right for you.

Svetlana Mukha, with love