Why Dating Is Such a Challenge
We easily do so many things in life: tackle the biggest problems, climb up mountains, write books and build careers. But when it comes to dating, there appears a big question mark, why dating is hard? Many people have even given up on dating. Most of us tremble with anxiety even thinking about getting into a new relationship.
Why are relationships so hard these days? There are plenty of possible reasons:
- Dating frustration. You have a negative experience from the past, which is the most widespread reason. If you went through a romantic failure, for sure it caused pain and it will take some time to get over it.
- Lack of confidence. You can easily imagine yourself a CEO of a big successful company, handling millions of meetings and handling different clients from all over the wolrd, but you would rather hide under the table at a dinner date with a beautiful lady, finding no topics to discuss.
- Too shy. Each interaction with a female is a real challenge for you, your level of anxiety goes so high you cannot handle it. You are not satisfied with your appearance and style. Every time you put a new shirt on, you feel uncomfortable and it is better to wear a black hoodie all the time rather than experiment with clothes.
- You have some trauma from you childhood, your mother didn`t treat you well, punished very often for no reasons and was too harsh on you, so your self-esteem is so low, you don`t see yourself with a woman.
- Dates won`t be successful. You build many expectations even before seeing the person. Date is not for the sake of getting to know a person more, but to establish quicker the status, boyfriend and girlfriend. For example my male friend is frustrated. I asked him why. He said: “Probably I don`t know what women want. It has been 2 dates with two different women during one year. I invited a girl to a restaurant and the next day I asked if she wants to be my girlfriend”. I explained that before asking such a question, you should know each other better, how can you understand that she is the person you need in life? Especially after the first meeting, just an introduction, when you are able to present each other in the best positive way. See her in different locations, not only in the restaurant in a dress and high-heeled shoes. Do some fun activity together, watch a movie or just walk in the park. It will give you a better picture of a person.
- You don`t see dating as a way to find your soulmate, you think that if it is meant to be, she will arrive to your flat by magic in a wedding dress while you are busy with work.
To sum up all above mentioned points, you see why dating is so hard for many people because of different reasons.
There are so many articles about dating giving advice on how to behave. So how to deal with a challenge of today dating?
- If you went through a break up, give yourself time to heal. Even though you don`t feel any pain, don`t date with a purpose to unwind from previous relationship.
- Work on being more confident. Practice makes perfect. Ask your colleague or female friend out for a walk. Practice talking to them, discover female nature more, be comfortable in the presence of women, expand your circle.
- Start with online dating if you are too shy to ask a girl out on the street or directly in the restaurant. More and more people become busier with work, that is why online dating has become so popular nowadays and has its advantages. With a matchmaking process it will be even more productive. You are in professional hands, a matchmaking agency is going to take a responsibility of finding a good match exactly for you and organize dates as well. It saves your time and also gives more opportunities to search love outside of you country, which makes it more romantic. Moreover, you are going to receive tips how to behave on the dates, so it is less challenging.
- If you encountered some childhood traumas, you should deal with it before you start any relationship, of course if you are aware of it.
- Be more dateable. Don`t set high expectations. You should learn some etiquette in order to avoid pushing a lady by direct questions about your future as a couple during your first meeting. It is common sense, a lady hesitates if she is going to come to see you again at all, not about future kids and a wedding day straight away. It is not an interview, you should enjoy the time, not turning it into a questionnaire evening.
- It is good to believe in fate and soulmates, but in order to meet each other, you have to do some steps, at least get out of your comfort zone and find your way to search for love. A lady won`t knock on your door like a Santa Claus on the 25th of December to say that she is the woman you can marry.