I believe that what may make international couples more challenging also makes them more interesting.
You never know who are you going to be with and what the universe has prepared for you.
You can dream about a tall blond beautiful Ukrainian lady but instead to fall in love with a charming Chinese woman. As well as you always wanted to continue your family traditions and live in your hometown farm where used to live all your generation but unexpectedly for everyone you settle down across the ocean. It`s life and life is unpredictable. All you can do is to listen to your heart and do whatever makes you happy. We live only once! Don’t worry so much about who are you with but why you are with this person!
Let`s talk about international relationship and what kind of challenges such couples can have.
First of all, it is a language misunderstanding. It`s a big challenge I can say. If you hear from your partner a total opposite of what you would like to hear… Warning alarm… Just ask her again!!! I myself was in the situation when I wanted to ask my English ex- boyfriend for another chance to rebuild the international relationship but instead I broke up with him again. When he unexpectedly left me alone at a café I realized that I just mixed up some words and told him “You will never see me again”. That was an awkward situation what happened with me and I definitely never forget it. So don`t make fast decisions if you date a foreign girlfriend. Don`t hesitate to ask her again, maybe even twice to understand what she exactly meant.
Then goes a culture shock. When you bring your foreign girlfriend to your country, don`t expect from her to meet your family with all your cousins and neighbors in first days of her being in a new country and new environment. I think you will agree with me that it`s totally normal for any person to feel jetlagged, shocked and lonely in the beginning of staying in a new country. You will be the only person she knows. It`s important to take care and support her during that time. Just stay with her during this difficult time and give her all the time she needs to get used to a new place, climate, food and different language spoken people.
Loneliness. She will be living far, far, far away from her family and friends. When she will be over a culture shock, it would be nice from you to help her in finding new friends. It could be your family and friends but while communicating with your family, she could feel yourself like an outsider because of the language barrier and not understanding subtle jokes for example. As a solution, it would be good for her to attend a language course where she could meet new friends who struggle with the same problems and to improve her language at the same time.
Keep romance alive. Distance international relationships are so romantic. You send the cute messages to each other, have nice friendly skype conversations and spend unforgettable vacations together. After you finally realized that you couldn`t imagine your live without your foreign girlfriend, you did the next step and asked her to move in together. There starts a real live. It`s already a big pressure on her to adapt to a new culture, language and a new place to live. Please don`t put even more pressure on her with taking romance away from your international relationship. Don`t show her all your “underwear” at once. Don`t make her feel as a housekeeper at your home. Don`t expect from her to do your laundry and clean your house from the beginning. You are not a long time married couple. She is still your girlfriend who wants to be loved and be spoiled by your care and attention.
International relationship takes a lot of work from both side but it`s worth it!