A couple of weeks ago I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine; let us call him “G”. He is a German, who has come to Ukraine to find a wife. Being naturally inquisitive, he decided to make a research and find out what differences there are between Ukrainian and European women.
The question we discussed with him is so burning, that I cannot help sharing the outcome with you, my dear readers. So, here is a brief version of our “ask-and-answer” session.
Ukrainian women vs Western women
G: Dating a Western woman, I understand that she is absolutely free from any limitations. She is the one who decides how to keep the house, what to wear, when to cook. She does not care about her age and marital status because it is not a usual to ask about it even at the job interview.
As for Ukrainian women, they seem to really care about all these things.
Me: To tell you the truth, it is a correct observation. Our, Ukrainian, society is made that way that a woman is expected to be “perfect”. By a certain age in her life, usually by 25, she has to be married and have children. If not, she is considered to have fallen out of the usual standard. What is more, if a Ukrainian woman wants to find a good job, she “must understand” that being 35 she is already too old to fit in any position, which is, frankly speaking, not fair.
So, dating a Ukrainian woman, you might expect that she will have some worries about age, marriage and family because of these social pressures. I do not know if it is good or bad, but knowing this information, you can be a wise man and support your woman, which will definitely show your best qualities and you will have a chance to enjoy wonderful relationship with the girl.
G: In Ukraine I have learnt a new word “Babushka” which means “an old woman”. As far as I understand a “babushka” is a woman of about 70 years old, wearing a head scarf and old-fashioned clothes. She does not work, has no hobbies anymore and her main task is to look after her grandchildren and stay at home.
In Germany I have never seen “babushkas” as Western women are more active, they travel a lot, do sports, go shopping, visit cafes and cinemas, etc.
I am just wondering if dating a Ukrainian woman and then marrying her I am destined to have a “babushka” beside me in several years.
Me: A good question. The situation with “babushka” has historical roots. Even I have been brought up knowing that my “babushka” (granny) is always with me as she does not work and her only interest is her family. What is more, if we compare the financial situation in Ukraine with other European countries like Germany, I assure you that most Ukrainian women after !40! cannot even dream of travelling or other exciting pastimes as they have no money for them. BUT… I AM SURE that if a woman has a chance to stay young, having a loving man beside her, who will share her interests and who will not turn into a “dedushka” – a male version of “babushka”, which many Ukrainian men become, she will take it without any hesitation and live her life to the fullest. So, dating a Ukrainian woman, her man is the one, who either turns her into a “babushka”, or gives an opportunity to continue being a woman living a good and interesting life 😉
G: I have noticed that contrary to Western women, Ukrainian girls are obsessed with being trendy and fashionable. For example, in the streets of my country I can see women wearing different styles of clothing no matter what is in trend. However here, in Ukraine, even me, who is not a fashion-follower, can understand what is fashionable as all the girls are wearing almost the same things.
Me: My dear G., being a woman, I can tell you that it is in our nature to have a desire to look good. Fortunately, most of Ukrainian girls have good looks and shapes, so, they can afford themselves to wear fashionable clothes, BUT… at the same time we have sense and wear only the clothes that emphasize our beauty. That is why, dating a Ukrainian woman, you will surely have to be ready to support her desire to be up-to-date and look good because the first person, for whom it is done and who wants to have a girlfriend with not only beautiful inner world but with good appearance too, is YOU.
G: The last thing I have concerns about is as follows: in Western countries it is a common thing for women to pay for themselves or even buy drinks for men. They can take action. However, as far as I understand with Ukrainian women it is just the opposite: a man always pays and he is the leader in relationship.
Me: Well, frankly speaking, there is some truth in what you are saying. Again, it is our Ukrainian mentality that men are a stronger sex. Therefore we, Ukrainian women, believe that we have a chance to stay feminine and gentle. How? When there is a strong and safe man beside us (strong and safe means that HE is ready to support us in any way: morally, financially, emotionally, etc…) we can be real ladies and do what ladies are expected to do: look after their beloved, make a house home, give birth to children, become a good mother, an amazing wife and friend for our ONE. Is not it what you want to find here? Dating a Ukrainian woman, you must understand that you will have to show activity and, yes, you will have to pay, BUT, VERY IMPORTANT, not always and not for every girl, since, knowing that a man has to provide for the family, we, Ukrainian girls, are also taught that we must not be kept women.
Finally, my dear G. and other men remember: you can search the world for your ONE, and choose any nationality that is described as a good variant for marriage, but the way your woman looks and behaves is the direct reflection of YOUR attitude to her, no matter where she comes from.