So often people ask us why do they need to start the matchmaking process and to pay a professional matchmaker to be introduced to someone? Isn’t it more “natural” to meet someone in the street or to be introduced through friends? 15 years ago many people found the idea of online dating strange and unnatural. In 2017 in the USA 19% of brides have confessed they have met their spouses online. In 2015 in the USA only 5% of married couples have met online. Meeting online is getting more and more popular. Many singles find it as natural as meeting at work or through friends. Advantages of online dating are numerous. Not only you can expand the pool of your search drastically and have access to singles not only in your city, but in the whole country or at the opposite side of the globe. Also you get a chance to create a “better” online version of yourself. A good quality professional photo-shoot can “turn” a shy not really easy-going 35 years old accountant into sexy confident predator on Tinder or a mail-order brides dating site.
So if online dating gives so many possibilities to meet someone why should singles start the offline matchmaking process and pay a professional matchmaker?
Unfortunately numerous online dating sites and mobile dating applications create many additional problems for singles. First of all they create the illusion of endless choice and endless possibilities. Singles start confusing good quality offline dates with empty online communication. Not so long ago during the first consultation with a potential male client (who is in his early 60s, has a successful career, speaks 3 languages and has a Harvard education) with absolute sincerity he was trying to “prove” to me that he is very popular among 27 years old ladies. He told me that not only they took the “first step” and were the first to text him online, but also they were initiating further communication claiming “age is just a number”. He has even met two of them for dates in real life: one of them has asked him to go on a vacation to Mexico right after the first date, the other has turned to be a mother of three little kids with no job. Still this “dating” experience has “taught” him that “age is just a number” and he can seriously consider dating a lady 30 year younger, can’t he?
Online dating can be a great tool that can help you expand your pool of acquaintances and meet numerous singles. At the same time it can mess greatly your perception of yourself and create unrealistic unhealthy expectations regarding your future partner. Huge bases of profiles create this illusion that perfection is somewhere out there. You don’t have to be sweet or charming during the date anymore. If she is not accepting you the way you are, you can always text a hundred smiling new faces and flirt with them online.
So why do singles need to start the matchmaking process and pay a professional matchmaker? Let’s discuss 3 main reasons:
- You have tried online dating and you are not happy with the results;
- You have exhausted your pool of single acquaintances;
- You don’t have time and patience to wait that your best half will by chance move next door to you.
Professional matchmaking process will be totally different from online experience. First of all professional matchmaking is an offline service so it will have really little in common with the online dating service. You will have professional assistant who will use his or her experience and knowledge to individually preselect the best candidates for you. This selection will be not only realistic, but also healthy, so you won’t have to waste your time on meeting people who have different expectations regarding relationship and dating, who do not share your vision about marriage and gender roles. Professional matchmaking process limits the pool of potential candidates individually for you, so that you can actually slow down and get to know each potential candidate. Instead of “meeting” numerous profiles online you skip this phase and go out on real dates with real people.
Of course it is wonderful when you have met your true love in high school or in college. She was sitting on your right during your literature class and one day you got enough courage to ask her out on a date. She said yes and now you have two kids and a dog. But what to do if all your relationships in college didn’t give you a desirable happy end? What to do if after college you were so focused on your career that now you are 35 years old and all your friends and acquaintances are either married or not interested in starting a family? Of course you can always ask your friends to introduce you to their single friends. Usually our friends “choose” potential matches for us based on the single factor: “you are single and he or she is also single, so this for sure means you would be “perfect” for each other”. Does it sound enough to you? You can try online dating or going out every Friday. At first you would be smitten by the new experience. You can talk to so many new people online and it would seem to you that your chances to find what you are looking for are limitless. Some people are lucky to find what they are looking for, some people keep telling themselves that they will have more luck next year. But what to do if you are not ready to invest months or years into online dating?
Is there a way to make your dating strategy more efficient?
When you sign up for gym or start learning a foreign language you can watch videos on YouTube, read some advice online, buy certain books or try to figure out yourself how to get the best results. Or you can hire a personal trainer or a private tutor who will help you build a system that will work individually for you. When you start a matchmaking process with a professional matchmaker he or she can improve your dating strategy and get you dates with interesting singles, whom you otherwise would have never met. Matchmaking process can make your dating strategy less time consuming and more efficient, it can finally bring your dating life from online to offline. It is important to keep in mind though that professional matchmaker is not a magician. He or she doesn’t have a magical wand that will make you 15 cm taller, 10 years younger or 20 kilos slimmer. The matchmaker can introduce you to a great person and teach you some new flirt techniques, but he or she won’t be there during the date with you. Your private Spanish teacher already speaks Spanish. He can show you how he managed to achieve it and what are other possible strategies that can work for you, but he won’t learn new words instead of you. Professional matchmaking process is a powerful tool that can bring your dating game to the next level, but it is not a magic pill that can make you someone else.
So is matchmaking the best chance to find true love? It is definitely a great opportunity to realistically explore and improve your current dating situation and to meet serious singles who have similar vision and expectations regarding relationship and marriage.
To hire or not to hire a professional matchmaker? If you are serious about starting serious relationship and you want to do it soon, then professional matchmaking process can be a great investment. At diolli.com we strongly believe that “where you invest your love, you invest your life”.
Svetlana Mukha, with love